Royal Road
Chapter 257
Chapter 257
Chapter 257
Translator: Pink Tea Editor: Ryunakama
Day 63 Late Morning, Murimuri Castle.
The time ran out. I had Armored Pres-san leave beforehand too.
(Shake-Shake)
She was really against it. She was fine with going but didnt like the outfit (armor).
Ill have her do some guerilla warfare to protect towns and villages under Stalker Girls clans guidance. The assumption that they are safe since the land belongs to a noble allied with the First Prince backfired.
Apparently, forces of the First Prince attacked a village, furthermore, it wasnt some fringe case of rampage, but done by a unit under the First Princes command. Sensing that something was amiss Stalker Girls clansmen tried to evacuate the villagers, but the village chief and men that were tending the fields were murdered while food and valuables were carried off. Moreover, it seems that they actually were after women. At this rate, all of the villages and towns on the way to the frontier might end up pillaged. To think that he cares nothing about whether the land belongs to an allied noble or not, I heard that he was no good, but this is a good match for actual bandits.
Keeping Armored Pres-sansFull Silver Armor, I gave her the leftoverSpike Mailfrom previous dungeon explorations, and she really hated it but It looked super good on her.
No, I mean, you get it, right? An evil-looking villainous armor will have a better effect, right? Like, for intimidation purposes? If you sayAny bad kids around?wearing this with the morning star in your hands most people will immediately run away? Yeah, definitely, anyone would run away without hesitation. Whoooa~, no, nevermind? It suits you Is that a good thing though? Well, you are looking great, so go break a leg! Be careful, Im counting on you? See you.
Half-crying, Armored Pres-san left, wearing a villainous spiked black with crimson armor of such a brutal look that even the supreme ruler of the post apocalyptic world wouldve been freaked out by it. If she accidentally encountered a Demon Lord, they wouldve immediately gone back home. Defensive power is in the gutter, but there isnt anyone capable of landing a hit on Armored Pres-san anyway And seeing that, no one will even attempt to fight anyway, yup, that was scary! The armor had more impact than the Dungeon Emperor herself, thats some really scary stuff! Makes sense that I couldnt sell that thing no matter what? Of course no one would buy that! [1]
Taking the royal guards capable of fast travel and borrowing horses with Skills from Meripapa-san I make preparations. The luxurious and gorgeous carriage with bed for welcoming Sexy Female Knights is ready too. Whats left is to load the royal middle-aged man into the other, irrelevant, modified carriage, and we can go. Enemies seems to have scattered, but the worst unit seems to be the one with the prince, so if we crush that one first, they will stick to the churchs wishes and will head straight for the frontier.
I have to end this as soon as possible, otherwise, with nothing but middle-aged men around, and now even the prince being another middle-aged man, we are one step away from a middle-aged men saturation phenomenon occurring, breaking through the worlds middle-aged men allowed limit, causing middle-aged men overflow, an extremely precarious situation. So lets erase some of them.
An army that assaults villages for women and valuables is basically just bandits, so they dont need a military tribunal. Military is supposed to protect citizens, if they dont, then they arent needed. An army that, on the contrary, assaults people, is better to be erased. For the sake of the world and my own. I mean, its a bunch of middle-aged men anyway.
Finally, the Royal Middle-Aged Man is stuffed into the carriage by Meripapa-san. He seems to be confused and flustered by the abruptness, but he has a determined look. He probably intends to save the kingdom with those negotiations. He mustve resolved himself. Well, the likelihood of negotiations happening is about as high as for the existence of intelligence for the Idiots. Nil? None at all?
We gallop to the destination.
At this point, it wouldve been better if I went on offense from the very beginning. Im behind on everything now.
All of the horses have sashes withAccelerationeffect. The horses didnt get a chance to practice with them, but since we are going simply in a straight line this shouldnt be a problem. Two hours should be enough to get there, and that place seems to be the most well-suited location. A great spot to have deep, deep discussions, getting to the very bottom of the issues. Id like to reach it first and make preparations, so lets hurry.
Dammit, just whats up with all the beautiful female knights going to the dungeon with the pres and others? They even took Merimeri-san, that leaves nothing but middle-aged men! Why did they have to create this 100% middle-aged men state? What are they going to do if I get infected with middle-aged man too?! What is this high middle-aged men concentration phenomenon? What if it leads to Middle-Aged Men Fusion from Middle-Aged Men Enrichment? If Middle-Aged Men Fission occurs the world will be destroyed by Middle-Aged men, you know? Thats definitely something that shouldnt be divided. I mean, its middle-aged men?
I can grumble all I want, but since there is nothing but middle-aged men around there is no one to reply to me. Im just muttering aloud, riding the carriage by myself. It feels rather lonely without Armored Pres-san or Slime-san around. I was always alone, but it seems I was corrupted by this worlds liveliness and noisiness without noticing.
And thus we reached the forces of the First Prince. We actually arrived earlier, but they seem to be wasting time on something useless again.
The Royal Middle-Aged Man and others are endlessly negotiating the negotiations, promises, conditions, and whatnot. Well, whatever? I already gained the terrain advantage. I couldnt get the timing or the people, but if I sink the people and the timing into the terrain it wouldnt matter anymore. [2]
The middle-aged men just keep talking on and on. And finally, I was handed to the prince along withFull Silver Armor, although the armor doesnt have the dungeon emperor inside, so it has a normal shape. I mean, it looks super lewd with her in it? Like, seriously. The sensuality of those curves is crazy enough to open new doors in highschool boys preferences, its super serious!
Kill.
Finally, meaningless and pointless make-believe negotiations seem to be over. Ive got tired of waiting. The fools have long since surrounded the fool (royal prince) making a total fool of him, and yet they still kept dragging this on for so long? It was getting so long that it felt like one of those Girls-Only Meetings, but those meetings at least have schoolgirls, and this here has nothing but middle-aged men. Lets sink them. Filth (middle-aged men) has to be flushed!
Hey, brat! Run away. And sorry.
Nonono, old man, dont move, you are getting in the way? If you move around and fall you are going to sink? And Im not going to save you? Since you are a middle-aged man? Im serious.
Eehm, Old man substitute? No, you arent a substitute, you yourself are an old man enough, but you are standing in for another old man, so old man substituting old man? Anyway, old man. Dont get in the way, okay? The handover is complete, so its too late, the delivery was accepted, returns are not possible. Its payment with life on delivery, so Im going to charge it from them? Kind of?
With the handover complete its already finished. If this silver armor came with contents then it wouldve been over before it ever began, you know? Well, since the handover is complete, I have to make sure that the package is accepted. Just a small token massacre to give a taste of local hospitality.
Can you get any dumber? Why would you diligently come with lance-armed heavy infantry to ambush unarmed envoys? Why wouldnt you scout ahead and confirm the terrain? There is no such plain in this area, you know? Fighting a war without a map is way too stupid, ah, damn I really hate this! Like, what was the point of all the preparations that Ive done so far? Is how staggeringly dumb it is? And the prince is a pig? Hey, why did you even make a pig into a prince? Previously there was an orc mayor or something, and now a pig for a prince? Are you that starved for personnel? Didnt you have at least an orc around? They are at least humanoid, so compared to a pig Hm? Wait a moment, I sort of feel like it doesnt matter at all! I guess?
The opponent was way too much of an idiot to begin with, or rather, a pig? Looks like this world has deep-rooted personnel issues. It seems to be oinking something though Something about eyes? This pigs vision is no doubt clouded if it has problems with my eyes overflowing with kindness and compassion. Alright, lets cleanse it with the muddy swamp water.
I undo the Holdingand Earth Magicthat were covering the ground. I mean, if the surface is not hardened then its just a swamp? Kind of?
They are yapping something though? Well, communication is important, they probably want to convey some point, so lets hear them out.
Help you? Save you? Well, did you? Helping the people is the armys duty, but did you help the people from the villages that you attacked when they were crying for their lives? No, you didnt, far from that, you killed them. Do you seriously think that after doing that someone will save you when you cry for it? You fell so low in the military that you are no different from bandits now, so how about you go even lower and just sink to the ground? I mean, it would spare the effort of burying you, so everyone will rejoice? What? Dont tell me that you thought that anyone would mourn your deaths? No no no, you cant be complaining about getting cruelly killed after murdering others like that? If you dont like that, you should have stuck to being proper soldiers, but its too late for that. Yeah, Im not saving you, okay?
Well, the pig seems to be a pig prince, which sounds like a rare one. It would be a problem if its an endangered species, so Ill keep it alive. The Royal Middle-Aged Man can handle the rest.
The pig is still squealing though?
What! What is this! What have you done, you bastard, WHAT HAVE YOU DOOOOONE! GUbah!
It was annoying so I tried burning his head a bit. Your hair roots are already dead, like, literally? The Geeks heads wont burn at all, but at the same time, if its this easy to burn there is no fun to it.
No, it was a swamp from the very beginning, you know? If you jump into the middle of a swamp that merely had its surface hardened a bit, wearing heavy armor, youd usually end up drowning? The surface isnt solid anymore, so the more you struggle the faster you will sink, and if you dont struggle you will sink anyway, and if you dont sink, Ill drown you? Well, you are sinking. Or rather, go sink yourself.
Even if you ask what I have done, I didnt do anything, or rather, I merely stopped what I was doing, and yet he makes it sound like this is somehow my fault, what a terrible pig. It is because of such despicable bastards that keep trying to falsely accuse me of everything that I keep getting misunderstood and cant escape the ENDLESS hell of ETERNAL sermons! In other words, it must be this pigs fault that Im getting scolded!
The piggies army finally calmed down, but for some reason, our people arent saying anything as well?
The Royal Middle-Aged Man seems to be stunned, so lets deliver him to Meripapa-san, he should be getting ready to depart for the capital too.
In a way its convenient that he is too stunned to move, but its kind of disgusting to be stared at like that by a middle-aged man? No one wants that, okay? I absolutely wont tolerate BL with Middle-Aged Man in the Other World-like development! Or rather, I cant tolerate this situation of being surrounded by nothing but middle-aged men! Lets hurry and rejoin Armored Pres-san, restocking on Flat Gaze and Highschool boy passion. I mean, who benefits from middle-aged mans stare?
Since she would be really mad if I forgot it, I make sure to put awayFull Silver Armor, and while Im at it, also storage all of the valuable weapons that the forces of the first prince brought, which I was already grasping with Holdingmaking sure they wont sink. The armor that the sunken middle-aged men were wearing is dirty with swamp water and middle-aged mens body odor, so schoolgirls are unlikely to buy it, lets leave it be.
The Royal Middle-Aged Man is being tossed into the carriage while still frozen. His bodyguards seem pretty rough As inept as he might be, isnt he basically the current king, even if he is just a temporary stand-in? Well, since its a middle-aged man its fine though.
Then, Ill leave the rest to you, or rather, Ill leave the delivery to you, or rather, Ill leave the old man to you?
He is still staring? I told you no one wants that, okay? Ill burn you?
He is in a daze. He probably doesnt get it. This old man must be a brainless old man that only keeps running around stirring trouble everywhere without thinking. He cant do anything but make things worse yet keeps struggling, struggling, and struggling. So he must have no idea that he saved the kingdom. He doesnt understand that there was honor in his unsightly struggle.
He doesnt realize that that stupid, ugly, pitiful and disgraceful floundering was pride.
Without pride, royalty is as fleeting as the wind. But it is that king stand-in, who knowing his ineptitude, ignorance, and powerlessness couldnt do anything but unsightly crawl around, who showed that the pride was still there. While shunned, hated, and ridiculed by everyone, he still proved that its passed down through the royal family.
If incompetent, then one just needs a competent aide. Meripapa-sans approach.
If one has no talent, one just needs to gather gifted individuals. Im actually trying to gather Sexy Female Assassins, but no one is applying? Or rather, no one is coming to attack?
If foolish and powerless, then forge vassals and retainers into reliable assets. Generally, if you force some beating under the name of exercise on them they will get stronger regardless of their wishes. And it also would provide for a nice weight loss effect?
Its enough for a king to take pride in their concern for the people. At least that has to be there, otherwise, its total nonsense.
And its the tradition to pass that pride down the line. If that tradition ceases, if the pride isnt passed down, then the royal house ceases to exist with it.
As pitiful and miserable he was in his crawling, he didnt forget the people. As inept as he could be, this much was merely natural for him. A stupid and futile pride. But it is what will allow the kingdom to survive.
Neither Meripapa-san nor Royal Girl had given up on it. Even that foolish younger brother showed pride in the royal familys ways, in such a case, as long as treasonous nobles are gone it should be possible to get back on their feet.
Well, if it doesnt work we can just crush it, but if the nameless kingdom whose name I didnt hear yet disappeared, it would be very troubling if more countries popped up with new names, so Id like to keep it if possible. I mean, adding even more names is nothing but a nuisance? I mean, I cant even remember this Something-Something Kingdoms name?
[TL Notes:
[1] Meaning Raoh, main antagonist of Hokuto No Ken.
[2] Reference to (ten chi jin) principle, Opportunity, Place, People. One would commonly find it explained as listing the order of importance of those things, that no matter how great is Ten Luck/Opportunity it cannot prevail over Chi Place/Position, which in turn is also beaten by Jin People or their Unity. But in this case its about another application of it. When one is to consider engagement, one has to have Timing (Ten), Geographical Advantage (Chi) and Support of the People (Jin) to ensure success. Having all three will bring victory, having none is a recipe for disaster.
]