A Villain's Way of Taming Heroines

Chapter 477 Diary - II



[July 21st.]

Ansel seems to have reached the limits of his patience.

He is now resorting to a clumsy, indirect manner of questioning, something he would never have done before, to ask whether I will follow him or pursue my ideals.

Ansel... you already know my answer.

Yet, from the beginning, you have not trusted me, nor believed in that possibility.

Have you confined me within some preconceived framework? Stubbornly using the information you possess, what image have you molded of me in your mind?

...No, it is not entirely your fault. If it were not for my presumptuousness, my secret attempts to uncover your mysteries, my desire to help you—if I had confessed earlier, perhaps the image you hold of me would be much better.

But doing so would mean losing my only chance, my sole opportunity to assist you.

Because you trust no one, including me, you would never... reveal your secrets to anyone.

It is too late to confess now; in your eyes, I have already become the person you believe me to be.

I do not know what lies at the end of this path, but I will continue to walk it.

As for the reason, you certainly would not like it now.

[July 25th.]

I feel weary, weary of deceiving Ansel, weary of the truths obtained through this deception.

Now, I realize... Ansel has fallen into a kind of madness.

He clearly craves external help, yet he rejects everyone with extreme prejudice; he longs to pour out his inner suffering, yet he will never speak of it to anyone.

He wants me to be his friend, yet he also desires an absolutely loyal servant.

I can sense his growing torment; perhaps he feels the time for decision-making and revealing his hand to me is approaching.

All of this, perhaps, is just my wishful thinking. Maybe things are not so complicated; maybe if I side with you, you will be much better.

But that would only be temporary... How could something that causes such agony to a divine species be resolved by a mere word or a slight change in my attitude?

Without finding the root of the problem, Ansel will inevitably fall into such pain again.

I lack the courage, the qualification... to bear his entirety.

I am too weak, and besides, the notion of "life and death together" in words does not suit me.

Ansel's madness... perhaps it is akin to my own obsession.

The difference is, I am acutely aware that my obsession is indeed abnormal, yet I am willing to sacrifice everything for it. But Ansel seems never to have realized he is ensnared in such madness.

This madness... must have a source.

I lost my grandfather, but what about Ansel?

Has he suffered betrayal? Could a single betrayal wound Ansel to such an extent? Was it a friend's, a relative's betrayal?

Or perhaps it was not betrayal, but an event unacceptable to him, much like the despair my grandfather's death brought to me.

I too... have not been able to move on for a very long time.

Regardless, I will continue.

I am sorry, Ansel, that even now, I have not been able to do anything for you, merely chasing the truth under the guise of righteousness.

[August 10th.]

Amidst a tempestuous downpour, Ansel confronted me with a stark revelation.

I inquired about his motives, seeking to understand the reasons behind his abandonment and outright disdain for our shared ideals.

His response was "no reason".

He confessed that everything was a fabrication designed to ensnare me: the ideals, the future we envisioned, the camaraderie we shared... all were but lures in his elaborate deception.

He even resorted to previously prepared tactics to underscore this bitter truth.

You needn't have expressed it so, Ansel... You could have, with great anguish, assured me that none of it was a lie, vehemently denouncing my baseness, yet you chose silence.

Even at this juncture... did you wish to spare me from a dilemma?

Ansel...Ansel, I claim to understand you better than anyone else in this world.

Your loves and hates, your joys and angers, your hopes and sorrows.

For nearly half a year, you have been my entire world.

How then, can you expect me to believe that all was mere falsehood?

I am acutely aware, more so than anyone, of the silent suffering you've borne for so long.

Gazing into his eyes, I discerned a chilling void and profound loss.

He must now be… blaming me, wondering why I couldn't concede even slightly, why I never bowed to him, why, in my eyes, he could never measure up to my ideals.

In aiding you, I was merely furthering my own ideal, as if to justify my actions as nothing more than utilitarian, right?

But doesn't this revelation speak volumes...

Aren't you, Ansel, the embodiment of my ideals?

With talents, insights, and visions surpassing mine, sharing the same aspirations, hopes, and desires... why should I chase after the cold and distant unknown, forsaking you, who stands right beside me?

You could have contemplated these thoughts, yet you refrained. You even withheld the reasons for abandoning our shared dream.

This is why I couldn't bare my soul to you.

You trust neither me nor anyone else, relying solely on conclusions drawn from your obsessive reasoning, trusting only what you deem to be objective analysis. Even though I stand with you, even though you consider me a friend, you wouldn't confide the root of your torment to me.

This mistrust isn't your fault, nor are your delusions and obsessions... You are merely a victim, Ansel.

Crucially, even with this knowledge, I am powerless to effect change.

I need... time.

Fortunately, Ansel's proposition, likely a groundwork for subsequent taming efforts, aligns perfectly with my needs.

[August 11th/]

The day of soul division is imminent.

I must make my final preparations.

The version of me that is created... cannot fully possess the memories of my current self, nor the understanding and knowledge I have of Ansel.

For the Ansel who has been with me for the past six months is still a child, but once the storm subsides, he will no longer be... He will become more cold and indifferent due to my betrayal, and more perceptive of the truth.

I may no longer be able to deceive him.

Moreover, only when the part of me that so despises and hates him is completely tamed, will he be truly at ease.

This is absolutely necessary.

Thus... there is only one choice—to erase these memories.

Erase all my thoughts, considerations, concerns, and emotions about Ansel... leaving only hatred and loathing.

Erasing is not difficult; the destruction of memory is indeed simple, but preservation...

The only medium that Ansel will never discover, to preserve these memories, is the nascent, unstable data system.

Once my memories are destroyed within it, everything will be over, and Ansel and I will be locked in a death struggle, with him ultimately gaining a servant of absolute loyalty... which he certainly does not desire.

A gamble... I have never done something so foolish, but I have no choice. Even Lord Flamelle might detect my memory erasure at any moment, but I must proceed. There is no such thing as absolute success in this world.

This is my only chance to uncover the truth, and I must not miss it.

This opportunity, Ansel's plan, has given me time, the capital to grow stronger, and the space to maneuver.

So perfect, perfect as if... it were destined.

It is as if fate has granted me this chance.

Fate...

Though unlikely, and I dare not believe it, but... is it you?

Are you the one tormenting Ansel, destroying his ideals, making him so lonely, so insecure?

To oppose fate is a... numbing endeavor. Can such an ethereal thing truly exist?

And if it does, if my actions are part of your design, it does not matter.

I will fight you in the darkness until one of us is utterly vanquished.

I will not let you destroy my ideals.

I will not let you destroy my Ansel, my friend.

*

In a confined space devoid of anything but a table and bed, Ravenna Ziegler silently set down her glasses, which glimmered with a fleeting light. Beside her lay her most treasured notebook, and on the open page was a string of... inexplicable characters.

These were codes that only she could decipher, serving as the key to unlocking the memories she had encrypted and sealed within the data system.

"So, this is it..."

The woman murmured, "This is the truth."

She had no doubt about the authenticity of these memories and instantly understood her mission here, without any hesitation.

"Three years."

Ravenna walked straight to the wall of the doorless chamber, effortlessly passing through it to the underground library of the Imperial Capital's Hydral Manor.

"You have three years, Ravenna."

Gazing at the countless hidden treasures that could drive the world mad, Ravenna Ziegler whispered:

"Three years is enough."

She retreated back into the secret chamber, where a crystal on the desk continuously projected an image onto the wall.

In the image was another version of herself.

Unaware of everything, yet... crucially important.

This version harbored only suspicion and hatred towards Ansel, lacking the vital memories and emotions...

But precisely this was the "Ravenna" as seen through Ansel's framework.

"It's time to begin."

Ravenna Ziegler cast her gaze towards the future.

Here, she would further unravel the mysteries surrounding Ansel, probe into his hidden pains, and understand the source of his incomprehensible obsession, while also amassing the necessary strength.

Even if it meant enduring three years of solitude in the darkness, unknown and unappreciated.

For Ravenna knew that in this world, the only person who could understand and help Ansel was herself.

She had never once thought of betraying her friend.

*


Tip: You can use left, right, A and D keyboard keys to browse between chapters.