Classless Ascension

Chapter 143: The Most Epic Horsie!

Josh couldn't help but smile as he fiddled with his UW. He was getting updates on the situation in real-time. He was home, in the dark, grinning—no spookiness intended.

He had recently learned about Draconic's team system. The gold-ranked had the privilege to be the single numeral teams.

There was team 1 headed by Dario, team 2 headed by Lilly (the newbies), and team 7 headed by Emsee. Why 7? Obviously, for the luck!

Josh was now browsing Team 7's chat:

- Golden Knight: The deed is done. We have vanished like smoke in a gray fog. The 500 spots have been filled instantly, with many waiting to take their spot. Welner should be fine if no one causes trouble. Mission accomplished!

- Evil Mastermind: Good Job! I'm proud of you guys. The turnover was better than I expected. With this, they should be busy enough not to bother Climbers anymore. Also, what's with this nickname you gave me?!

- Arrow Guy: This is so much overkill! I can't believe you pulled that trick on S-Ranks! Haha, this nickname fits so well!

- Music guy: So, how long will we keep the scam going?

- Construction guy: You're not the only one with a weird nickname. Also, it's not a scam! We told them it's just a farm, you know.

- Evil Mastermind: Let me share some wisdom. It is not about how long we should keep it going, but how long we CAN keep it going. Do you get my drift?

That's when the chat was spammed with "Evil Mastermind" over and over again until Josh finally decided to close it entirely.

Now that he could access the Tower without worry, it was time to plan the next step: Floor 17! What did it actually entail? Well, in this case, he would need to visit a ranch.

That is how he looked for one in the vicinity. As fate would have it, there was one nearby the farm he had just acquired. Well, technically, Emsee had temporarily paid for it until the Ghoul sets were sold.

Josh actually hollered a taxi to drive him there. Was it weird that somehow he just couldn't wrap his head around orange taxis? On Earth, there had been so many yellow taxis (especially New York) and even red taxis in Hong Kong, but orange?! Not that he knew of!

"Welcome aboard. I am Armin! If…." Hey, it was that cool driver! Refreshments, snacks, HUB, accents, and tour guide options were all available. God, this guy was the best! (no contest)

"I'm going there!" Josh just showed him his destination and let the magic happen. So great!

On the HUB, there was a news show playing called Daily Scoop. It was about a….wait a minute! Josh couldn't help but laugh out loud! It was portraying <Very Happy Farms> as some kind of enlightened and VIP area that everyone wanted to get in.

"I am glad you are having fun, Sir!" Armin remarked.

"He started listing all the amazing knowledge this farm will bring people. I just can't believe the exaggeration!" Josh explained

"Sir, I really feel there may be life lessons to be learned from an activity such as farming. For instance, I have learned many things even while being a lowly cab driver."

"I disagree with that very much."

"Of course, Sir. For a Climber, this must really feel—"

"I disagree about the lowly part. There are no jobs in this world that are lowly. By definition, a job is something that someone is ready to pay to have done. Lowly? No way!"

"You flatter me, Sir! This is the first time someone shows such kindness." Tears began to fall from the corner of his eyes. How was he getting so emotional? Then again, a little validation could go a long way.

"Flatter? No. I mean it. You can navigate this City better than me, for instance. I'm also convinced you are better at customer service, amongst other things. I would have killed so many customers already. Anyway, how is life here?" Josh asked.

That is how a teary Armin began talking about his life experiences. The places he had visited in his past, how he had moved to Metropolis-C as the Tower appeared, everything. The man had even witnessed the place becoming a Climber's haven too. How amazing was that?!

Josh told him a bit about Earth. He told him about how he had lived in places with cars and yellow taxis everywhere and how he had trouble adapting to that bright orange color, which made Armin chuckle madly.

Eventually, they reached Josh's destination. "Sir, thank you for using my services. It makes me feel useful, really. Was the ride enjoyable?"

"It was awesome." What else but a thumbs-up could one give such a driver? He watched the vehicle depart before turning toward the ranch that was called <Horsing Around>.

Back on Earth, Josh barely had any contact with horses. The reason was simple. They were hard to find in the city.

Of course, some touristic places used some to drag along wonderful carriages. Josh remembered how popular such activities had been with tourists and recently married couples (at the beginning when passion was still there.).

Fun fact, even back on Earth, it was easier and cheaper to buy a horse than to care for it in most cases. Such was a universal truth that even he knew. As he followed the trail, Josh soon arrived before an old-looking wooden house.

He knocked using the horseshoe that was hanging on the door before entering. He couldn't help but notice the pleasant atmosphere. It felt old-school with various stable items used as decoration. It was a clash with the modern world.

"Welcome! We got ourselves some city folks! Ah, just one city folk, actually. What brings you here today? You can call me Linda." A woman appeared.

"Hello!" Josh replied.

She was blond, with blue eyes and cute freckles. Her hair was tied in a ponytail, and she was wearing leather boots, jeans, and a leather jacket that looked extremely natural on her. She sized up Josh from head to toe.

"You look young, you come from the city, you seem to have a sense of purpose, and you are not even staring at my puppies— and I know I'm rocking this jacket." She slowly analyzed. Still, by all accounts, these were too big to be called puppies, right?

"Let me guess: you want to bring your girlfriend on a romantic ride. You'd wrap your manly arms around her slender waist, whisper sweet promises in her ears, fondle a breast from time to time, then eventually do something 'wild' and 'totally unplanned' in the bushes." She winked at him.

Josh couldn't help but smile slightly. Then he uttered: "You know, she would have been the one bringing me instead. She once organized us an alligator ride. I still don't know the why or how to this day. But, I do remember her excitement and smile. It was so beautiful."

"Wow! I take it you're a Climber to dare ride an alligator!" She had noticed the past tense.

"This was way before the Tower. Anyway, I'm here because I want to learn about horses. I want to observe them and get used to their movement patterns." Josh explained.

She slowly guided him toward the stable in the back. That's when light of understanding showed in her eyes. Just from how she talked about her horses, her babies, he knew how much she cared about them.

She then started showing them off one by one. She talked about their age, temperaments, how long she had them for, and all sorts of random information.

Josh couldn't help but think that, ironically, the normal common-folks may prove more interesting than the Climbers to talk with. How many Climbers were truly passionate about climbing itself and weren't just seeing it as a job?

It was really all about passion. When Climbers talked about Floors, their eyes wouldn't sparkle in the same way hers did every time she looked at a horse. He found himself murmuring:

"I like your eyes, especially the way they shine." He didn't mean anything by that and she didn't take it the wrong way either. She just smiled, understanding him.

"Now, which friend would you like to play with? Dash the handsome brown playful horse, Blackie the proud stallion, or perhaps Horsie, the donkey that's totally convinced he's a horse?" She asked with enthusiasm.

"A valiant man like me can only have a heroic mount! I choose Horsie!" That's when the donkey turned its head to stare at him while Linda laughed, holding her sides.

Wasn't there something truly heroic about a donkey mingling with horses without a care in the world? Apparently, it would compete with the others that were much bigger even when its defeat was definitely assured.

That is how they exited the stable. The donkey followed carefully behind Josh as it observed him curiously. Were donkeys supposed to be that smart? Then again, he had known the story of that one talking donkey that fucked a dragon, so…

Outside was a flat grassy plain with a few roads to tread on. That's how Josh officially began's horse-riding (donkey riding) lessons. Overall it was pretty simple. He just needed to use his legs to steer it in the right direction and apply a bit of pressure to speed up.

Then when it came to stopping, it was as simple as pulling the reins. But, as soon as he got the hang of it, Josh actually jumped down and began observing the actual movements.

"Actually, can we get the three of them out here? I want to observe them all at once." Josh asked, and before long, he was observing Dash, Blackie, and Horsie playfully gallop together.

Their body language, especially the ears, would often betray their next action. He kept watching until he felt like he could predict their movements as well as he did with humans.

That's when Linda added: "There is actually a girl that came here with her competition-grade horse if you want to observe that one too. She should be back from her tour around the ranch soon enough.

A few minutes later, Josh could hear the sound of galloping. That's when a peerless jade beauty appeared on the horizon. Josh couldn't help but gasp in admiration. So beautiful!…

Creator's Thought

Evil-Mastermind? Please! What kind of evil mastermind would roll around in normal taxis and visit a ranch? Evil mastermind, now coming with an extra donkey on the side! How would all this help me in the Tower? Well, it's one of these things that seem simple but can be the difference between life and death really.