I (30), Who Works for a Black Company and Died While Regretting My Gloomy Life, Started Over From High School!

Chapter 157: Now is the Time to Express These Feelings

Haruka aah Ahh! Ahhhhhhh!

I found myself clinging to the bed, tears streaming down.

Shes come back.

From a fate too cruel and destructive, to a calm everyday life.

To know that the person I cherish has regained her consciousness, and is calling my name that alone fills my heart, and my tears refuse to stop.

Too much too much crying Shinichirou-kun

Gently, as if soothing a child, Haruka strokes my head, smiling warmly.

Just this simple act feels so precious. The heavy emotions that had built up inside me are now illuminated by a blinding light.

Haruka Ojou-sama?

Suddenly, a voice from behind. I turn around to find Fuyumi-san standing at the entrance of the room.

Surely, she must have followed me, the beautiful housekeeper stands there, her eyes wide in astonishment and her body frozen.

Fuyumi-san

Ah, y-yes! O-Ojou-sama! You, you understand me! A-ahhhhh!!

Seeing Harukas recovery with her own eyes, Fuyumi-san breaks down just like I did.

And of course she does. She must have witnessed the despair even more deeply, as she cared for the broken Haruka all this time.

Ah! W-We cant stay like this! I must inform Master and Mistress of Ojou-samas recovery as soon as possible! And also, the doctor! Shinichirou-sama, please take care of Ojou-sama for a while!

After wiping away her tears, Fuyumi-san rushes away, determined to fulfill her duty as a housekeeper.

Ah, thats right. After informing Akiko-san and Tokimune-san of Harukas recovery, this incident that started with Harukas collapse will finally come to an end.

Truly Truly, its a relief

Haruka, are you feeling okay? This might startle you, but youve been like this for over ten days

Yes, I understand. I I had lost myself for a long time.

Eh?

Speaking with her head down, Haruka surprises me more than a little.

Could it be that she understands what had happened to her, even though she hadnt spoken for ten days?

Shinichirou-kun, I I had a long dream.

A dream?

For some reason, Haruka begins to talk with a serious expression.

Her voice, which hadnt been used for some time, sounds a bit hoarse, but its still far more fluent than one would expect after not speaking properly for ten days.

I was dreaming for a very long time, of a grown-up version of myself who was in great pain, and of an adult Shinichirou-kun who came to rescue me. Even when the adult me was being obstinate and treating him coldly, he never gave up.

That means

Remembering, I feel a cold sweat.

What comes to mind is that strange dream I had in the classroom during my time leap. The Haruka who appeared then acted in a way that couldnt have been a product of my subconscious, so I had a vague feeling that that possibility was high.

But if thats the case does this mean that Haruka remembers what happened to me, and why I was led to supernatural events?

In that dream, the grown-up Shinichirou-kun was you.

Yeah.

I nod firmly. Id have preferred if Haruka didnt remember everything, but since she recalls it all, theres no helping it.

In the dream, the adult Shinichirou-kun did his best to help me. Even though I was being stubborn and distant.

Wait!

As soon as I answer, Harukas gaze pierces into me.

Why Why did you do something so reckless!?

Haruka asks, not so much seeking an answer, but almost blaming me.

I find it painful to see her, tears streaming down her face, but as someone who acted recklessly, I have no choice but to accept her words.

After all, ultimately, it was the enigmatic existence known as fate that led to my lifes second time leap, but thats what I wanted.

And of course, there was no guarantee Id be able to come back.

Even if Id been broken you should have just left me alone!

What!?

Shinichirou-kun! Youre kind, reliable, and truly wonderful!

Haruka raised her voice, unable to contain her turbulent emotions.

If such an amazing person if their future with me was crushed because of me, even if I regain my sanity, it wouldnt be any comfort, would it? Do you think I can go on with my life, smiling, after youre gone, Shinichirou-kun!?

Her anguished cry condemning my ego pierced deep into my chest.

If the roles were reversed if Haruka were the one sacrificing herself for me, I would probably say the same.

Why why would you go that far? How did you become so strong and kind?

In her agitation, Harukas eyes brimmed with tears. Seeing her like this was truly painful.

But

Im really sorry for making you feel this way But Ill do the same thing over and over again. Because Ive decided to.

Decided?

Haruka repeated my words in confusion, but it wasnt really such a big deal.

It was just a guideline Id set for myself in this current life.

Yeah, both you and everyone at school say that Ive changed so much, like a completely different person from before. But my essence is still dark and timid. Even when I was about to go to that faraway place, I was on the verge of tears with the fear that I might never come back.

Looking back, my previous life was a life of avoidance, of not confronting the pain and fear in my heart.

Not facing it because it was scary.

Not continuing because it was hard.

Not doing it because it was bothersome.

Not starting because it was impossible anyway.

That was how I diminished myself day by day.

So, Im not stronger now than before. The only difference is whether theres something Ive decided I truly want. Not running away from whats necessary for what I really want. Thats all.

That was what I, who had been a passive salaryman, had held in my heart and run with throughout this second life, breaking free from that.

So, for what I truly want for the most important girl to me, I did what I could. For my real feelings.

Shinichirous real feelings?

Harukas face tinged slightly at my heartfelt words.

Long ago, I fell in love with this girl, and by some miracle, we met again.

As the radiant days passed, my feelings swelled, but I hesitated to put them into words.

I had made a genuine decision to tell her someday, but the fear of rejection was immense, as my feelings grew stronger.

But I wont run away anymore.

Ill convey this feeling now its time.

I love you, Haruka. Ive loved you for so, so long.

Words Id wanted to say for so long.

Feelings Id kept hidden in my heart since long ago.

I finally finally said them.

It felt deeply moving, and as expected, from head to toe, I felt a burning heat surge, and I sweated to the point where my clothes felt heavy.

Uh, um Im sorry. I actually planned to tell you this after youd calmed down from your illness

In response to my confession, Haruka stared wide-eyed, seemingly lost in thought.

I watched her, my face covered in cold sweat, unsure in which direction the shock she received was heading.

Eh!? W-Wait, Haruka!?

I found myself exclaiming in astonishment.

Because, Haruka, her face frozen in surprise, had begun to shed large tears, flowing freely down her cheeks.

Ugh ahh I didnt

With tears streaming down her cheeks, the girl spoke as if desperately trying to sort out her emotions.

I could only wait, watching in silence.

I I didnt understand love I didnt know what it meant to like someone

Shedding more tears, Haruka continued, seemingly baring her heart.

People say Im childish but its not like I didnt long for love. Its just that, like the stars in the night sky, I knew they were beautiful, but they seemed far away, beyond my reach

In the room illuminated by the sinking sun, Haruka continued.

But now it feels like the feelings I didnt understand until now are getting names and colors. Whenever Im with you, I feel so safe. When we talk together, my heart leaps with joy. When I think about you, my heart always feels light and happy.

Eh

At that moment, as well as the joy that seems to overflow from my heart right now I finally understand their true meaning. My feelings for you just wont stop!

Haruka continued to express herself with a rising sense of elation, and I listened as if in a dream.

Is this really reality?

Not just a convenient daydream of mine?

I will say it too. Please let me say it

With tears streaking down her cheeks, Haruka looked directly at me.

Shinichiro-kun I love you. Truly, truly I love you.

How do I respond to that?

I cant put it into words. I cant think of anything.

Everything within me it all felt like an endlessly clear blue sky.

Everything about my existence it all felt like it was being saved completely.

Please let me be your girlfriend!

Before I knew it, I found myself leaning forward and embracing Haruka on the bed.

I was overwhelmed with love for her, and I didnt know what to do.

You hehe

Though her face was flushed, Haruka quietly smiled as she gazed at me, who was right in front of her.

Ah, I can tell even without looking. I must be making a completely ridiculous face, soaked in tears and emotion.

Ill always hehe

Touching each other all over, Harukas fingers, delicate as a whitefish, gently caressed my head.

Im clumsy but please take care of me.

And so, Haruka smiled like the sun.

Her beautifully pure heart bloomed, and I was so moved that I couldnt find any words.

What I won in the end of my youthful revenge.

The most precious thing in this world was right there in my arms.

TLN: LETS EFFING GOOO~ Ngl, I thought the author would blue ball us until next chapter. BUT THEY DIDNT! ITS OFFICIAL BOIS!