QT: Don't fall in love with the Male Lead

Chapter 140: Don't look confused in front of the cameras

Almost no time passes before Xi Zirui regains conscience in the blank limbo space. 

He shoots up to his feet in a panic, looking around the white area in disbelief.

How can this have happened?

"Ni Ni tried to leave Host alone in the world for as long as she could, but it grew too unstable to sustain," she says, her tone contrite.

Xi Zirui lets out a mirthless laugh. A life, a family, all gone, just like that.

He's too empty to grieve. Too hollowed out to rage at the injustice of being so callously plucked from such a happy life.

"Just answer me this," he asks, his voice ringing out through the empty space. "Is it possible for a male god to bear children? Will I ever see my babies again?"

Ni Ni is silent for a long time, and for each second she doesn't answer Xi Zirui's heart grows heavier.

Until finally, "It can happen," she says, tentatively. "There are ways, pills that exist and can make conception possible."

He nods, feeling numb. 

At least there's hope he'll get to see Han Zhiye and Han Xiu again. He refuses to believe fate would be so cruel as to show him a glimpse of them only to take them away forever.

Han Yu he knows he'll see again, as much as it hurts him to leave their life in the Coiled Dragon palace behind -- but what about his little twins? It's not a matter of finding other children for him and Han Yu to raise, he wants Zhiye with his easy giggles and A-Xiu with her adult-like stoicism. 

His babies.

"Get me out of here," Xi Zirui says, feeling too hollow to cry. 

Ni Ni dithers. "Does Host want to know what happened to...everyone else?"

Does he? What's worse? Thinking that his sudden death ruined the lives of everyone he loves, or knowing how exactly they moved on without him?

"Can you tell me later, if I don't want to hear it now?" he asks.

"Yes, I can tell Host the details at a later time," she replies, almost quietly.

Xi Zirui nods, and everything around him vanishes.

---

This time around, something different happens, Xi Zirui's body doesn't die, he just falls into a profound coma. 

Han Yu is able to catch him as he loses conscience, preventing him from dropping Han Xiu. 

No doctor can find the reason for his sudden ailment, and while they assure Han Yu they'll find a way to wake him, Han Yu knows, deep down, that he'll probably never see Xi Zirui awake in this lifetime again.

He wants to give in to the despair that keeps closing in on him, for each day that he keeps vigil by Xi Zirui's bedside and he doesn't stir -- but the promise he made keeps him sane through his grief.

He needs to take care of their children, that was what Xi Zirui wanted, and Han Yu will do his best to honor his wishes.

In the following days, Xi Zirui is moved to an adjacent room to their bedroom, tucked into bed as if he really can wake up at any moment.

Han Yu takes to talking with him, even though no answer comes, and he feels better that way, almost as if Xi Zirui is still there with him -- just oddly quiet.

He brings the babies to spend time with Xi Zirui as well, and after some time they try to stop waking him up, just snuggling up to him for naps, or playing around him.

Han Yu's heart tightens as he watches his children try to interact with their father and get no answer, but on the other hand, there's nothing else he can think to do.

He just wants his family to be together.

---

The years pass, Han Zhiye and Han Xiu grow up healthy, each of them resembling Xi Zirui more each day, in their own ways.

Han Zhiye with his blinding smiles and easy charm, Han Xiu with her shrewd nature and sly remarks. 

After puberty, Han Xiu presents as a qianjun and Han Zhiye as a kunjun. There's a celebration for both of them, and a few short months later for their cousin, Bai Lun which is the only one of Bai Mi's children to present a second gender, being a qianjun.

Han Yu is so proud of his children, he's certain Xi Zirui would be proud of them too.

They continue to visit Xi Zirui together, to tell him about their days and what they have done. Han Yu writes down some of the remarkable events of their lives in a diary which he re-reads often, to ensure he'll remember all of it when he meets Xi Zirui again.

He wants to be able to tell him all about their children.

One day, Han Xiu comes up to him and declares, "I'm going to study the healing arts, I want to find a cure for papa's illness," she says, her eyes set and her voice sure.

Seeing her earnestness, Han Yu can't keep the truth from her any longer. "A-Xiu, your papa is never waking up."

Her shock only shows in the minute tightening of her brows, "What do you mean?"

Han Yu tells her everything, at least in a way that will make sense to her, and that doesn't make her question her entire existence and life in their world.

She listens to everything quietly, her expression unchanging. She thanks Han Yu for telling her, and leaves without another world.

She never brings up wanting to be a doctor again, but she doesn't stop visiting Xi Zirui's bedside.

---

The years keep passing, their children grow into adults, but Han Yu still doesn't feel as if his job is done -- as if he has fulfilled his promise to Xi Zirui. He wonders if he ever will.

Bai Mi and Ji Limei have two more children, two girls this time, Bai Mei and Bai Li. 

Han Yu is happy for his cousin, who has mellowed out considerably with marriage, but he can't help wondering if he and Xi Zirui would have had more children if he was still around. 

If their lives together hadn't been so senseless interrupted.

He tells this to Xi Zirui, one day, still sleeping peacefully in his bedroom, as beautiful as the day he fell unconscious. "What great sin did we commit in our previous lives, to be punished like this?"

He doesn't get any answer.

---

Shortly after, he falls sick, it's a new bout of the same mysterious illness that ravaged Coiled Dragon all those years ago, before Xi Zirui even joined them.

The doctors try their best, but Han Yu knows they'll be just as powerless as they were to prevent their elders from dying.

Thankfully, he's the only one affected. He won't see his children find mates of their own, but he's has made his peace with death.

At least he'll be seeing Xi Zirui soon. Laid up in his sickbed, Han Yu keeps a mental tally of everything he wants to tell Xi Zirui, a list of everything he missed.

"I'll tell you all about it," he tells the empty room. "I did my best, our children grew up well."

He dies peacefully in his sleep, with a smile on his lips.

---

The moment Xi Zirui wakes up in the Transmigrator 4000's chair, he turns to the side and glares at the Shopkeeper standing at his side.

She doesn't look any more pleased to see him. "Did you have a good time?" she asks, her features pinched in annoyance.

Xi Zirui looks straight ahead. "What's it to you? Just send me over to the next world," he says, looking straight ahead.

She doesn't try to engage him in any small talk, the mood chilly between them, and soon Xi Zirui is falling unconscious again.

As soon as he's gone, Ni Ni slithers out from behind the machine, her tiny nails clicking on the floor. "Why did you pull us out?"

The Shopkeeper shoots her a glare. "He wanted to stay, and you were just going to let him? You know we need to solve this mess, the consequences will be disastrous if we don't."

Ni Ni doesn't say anything for a long time, watching the Shopkeeper thinker away with the machine in silence.

"What is he going to do when he finds out Han Yu isn't a god like him?" 

Ni Ni's question makes the Shopkeeper's hand come to a stop over the control panel. She tightens her fingers and lets out a deep sigh. "Let's hope he doesn't remember that particular detail before finding out how to return to the heavenly realm."

---

When Xi Zirui next comes to, he's sitting down on a chair, in a brightly lit room surrounded by dozens and dozens of young men all wearing the same ugly sailor blazer as him.

They're all sitting in tiered levels, in an ample room, in complete darkness.

Xi Zirui has no idea what's going on, until a bright flash of lights suddenly blinds him, at the same time that upbeat pop music starts playing.

A familiar figure runs towards the stage in front of the platforms where Xi Zirui and the other young men are sitting.

She's wearing a flashy, sequined dress, and makes a girlish pose in front of several cameras mounted on a semi-circle around the stage.

"Welcome everyone, to the first episode of the 7th season of 'Nation's Number One Idols'! The reality show where YOU decide who will be the members of the country's next top boyband!" she says, jumping up and down in excitement.

She turns around at the same time lights flash down on Xi Zirui and the others. He blinks in confusion while everyone around him smiles brightly and waves towards the cameras.

When his eyes adjust to the sudden bright glare Xi Zirui recognizes Ji Limei as the presenter in the sequined dress. 

She smiles widely and returns their waves. "And now, let's meet our contestants!"

Xi Zirui remains frozen silent, clinging to his seat in a panic.

Just what the fuck has he gotten himself into now?