Chapter 194 - Asking Alexei For Help
When Elise noticed Loriel's peaceful breathing and the sound of soft snores that came from the man's own exhaustion from taking care of her… Elise found her way out of his arms.
It took a little bit of struggling since Loriel held on to Elise tightly, but at last, she was out of his grasp and free to do what she had planned in mind from the very beginning.
Elise was going to discover the secrets to her past.
A part of Elise suddenly hesitated as she looked at Loriel's sleeping face and she knew that when he awoke… the man would worry and fret about her. But she had no choice at all.
What was she going to say?
"I need to leave you to uncover the truth about my past, Loriel. I know that we're happy now... but I don't think that I'd be able to rest until I know everything," she muttered softly..
Elise closed her eyes and remember her last meeting with Alexei. The man seemed to know more about her than she did herself. She asked him to leave her alone and never to confront her and Loriel.
Back when Loriel and Elise were still in Italy, things were not as they seemed.
Especially to how Elise's confrontation with Alexei ended.
A pained smile was on Elise's face as she tugged away from him. "I'm alright, Alexei. I'll forget what you're trying to say to me and let's just pretend that we never met each other, alright?"
"No," Alexei said. His own voice saying those words surprised Alexei because he knew it was best to listen to this woman and not mess with her life. And yet he couldn't think of doing that.
"What do you mean, no?" Elise's smile faded away. "Do you not know what you've said to me?"
"These words have changed your perspective and view," Alexei said and didn't pretend to not like it. "You're now starting to think that there are far more things to discover about yourself because of what I said, haven't I?"
Elise stared at him blankly. "So what?"
"... So what? Is that all you really have to say?" Alexei rubbed his face. "I know that I told you to forget about it, but that's not going to work. I can't wipe away your memory or anything even if you asked me to. I know someone, but you won't be around for that, right?"
"Even though it seems better to forget about everything Alexei, I can't do that at all even if I wanted to," Elise said.
"Why not?"
"If I forget about my powers and this conversation of ours… What if I accidentally use them again and hurt my husband or friends? I can't bear the thought of doing that to any of them just because I wanted to ease the pain."
Alexei blinked and stared at Elise, stunned for a moment. "So you want to do this for them?"
"And for myself. I don't want to be a coward." Elise placed a hand on her chest.
"Do you think forgetting about something terrible is cowardice?"
"Yes." Elise nodded. "It's not only about my loved ones, I also need to live with the guilt. Whether it was intentional or not, I have hurt another person and they're gone because of me."
"You mean that guy in the back alley in New York?" Alexei asked and tried not to laugh. "You did that no-good lout a favor by sending him to his death. That's a relief compared to living a terrible life out on the streets."
"His life is still important and I took his chance to live by killing him," Elise said. "Is it really fair for me to just forget about that? How can I learn from my mistakes if I choose to erase that?"
Alexei understood that the two of them were looking at it from two different perspectives. That of an immortal and someone raised to be a mortal person.
"You know, if it weren't you… Elise. Someone else might have been the victim, you know? What if you actually saved lives because of what you did? Have you thought about that?"
"It doesn't work that way, Alexei." Elise frowned at him. "Are you so detached from the world that the only one you think about is yourself? That's disappointing to know."
Alexei stared at the woman in front of him and was now at a loss for words. He didn't think that he'd be debating with someone he barely knew about the morality of killing people when he himself already had blood on his hands.
Actually, it didn't even sound like a debate at all.
Alexei rubbed his face and then looked at Elise.
"Geez. You know from the way that you're trying to lecture me about what's right and wrong? It's like you're acting like some parent trying to nag me into accepting what I don't really believe in. That's not cool."
"I'm just saying what I believe in… am I not allowed to say any of that?" Elise frowned at him.
"Well, you can't convince me so it's best not to say anything."
"This is ridiculous! You were the one who suddenly started giving me ideas of what there is more to life of those with powers and now you're trying to shush me down." Elise averted her gaze and sighed.
Why was Elise getting so riled up and affected by talking to this guy?
It was great proof that Elise shouldn't be spending so much time with this guy, wasn't it? Elise needed to go back to Loriel instead of wasting her time and breath with someone who'd never understand.
"You know what, I'm leaving for real this time," Elise clicked her tongue in annoyance. She pushed back the younger man and threw him a look. "Please make sure that you keep your word and stay away from me and my husband."
"Unbelievable."
"What? You said you'd respect my choices, right?" Elise narrowed her eyes at him.
"I know I said that." Alexei crossed his arms. "But that was right before you started getting all mad and upset about everything when I've been nothing but a helpful person to you."
"That's…" Elise stared at his face. "What do you want in exchange then?"
"I don't actually need anything that you might have." Alexei placed his hands into his pocket. "What I do know that I want to have is… well, it's probably being right about what I said?"
"Right about your opinions? That's extremely childish."
Alexei didn't even know what he meant right now. He rubbed his face and then pulled out his phone. "Okay, fine. Let's just say I messed up and said something irrevocable. You're now worried but you don't want to forget either."
"Yes, I don't want to forget so don't try anything weird." Elise stepped away from him cautiously.
"As I said, it isn't me but someone I know who can help erase memories." Alexei chuckled as he showed his phone screen to Elise. "So the thing that I want from you before I stay away and do as you asked is your number."
"What?"
"Let's exchange numbers. I'll get yours and you take mine," Alexei said. "You can delete my number afterward if you want to. But who knows? I might be able to help you again."
"Why?"
"To prove a point."
Back then, Elise thought she wouldn't want to see Alexei again and almost didn't want to get his phone number. Now, she was glad she did.
With a trembling hand, she took out her phone and started searching for Alexei's contact.
She must see him and find out the truth about who she was.