The Heart is a Void: Ashes to Ashes

Chapter 133: There Lies a Dying Sparrow...

As he dreamed, Karel found himself in a large, green-walled school building. It had a slight resemblance to his primary school in the Czech Republic, but wasn't entirely the same. He was sitting on a bench in a long corridor.

It was early morning, on a cloudy, foggy day. The air was tinged with a slightly dark-blue, murky aura, and rays of sunlight shone through this like flashes of bright, ultramarine-edged powdery white.

The sound of dainty footsteps came from his right. Raising his head, he saw a young, brunette girl. She was the witchy girl that he had killed in the Hunting Area, but now appeared younger, about 12-13, as did Karel. Despite it being a dream, he did faintly remember the scene of her death, though he couldn't remember how she died. Tears lined her face, but she tried half-heartedly to put on a brave face as she sat down next to him.

"Hey, what's up? I recognise you from the class earlier," she said.

"It doesn't matter. What's wrong?"

"Oh... Well, I'm new here, like you. I mean, it's difficult, right? They said it would be hard to settle into a new place..."

She stubbornly kept her body perked straight up on the bench, despite her shoulders and arms seeming to wilt in despair. He noticed this and tried to match her despair with an equal sense of urgency, as he tried to get a handle on the situation he had been placed into.

"Yeah, but looks like you're not just finding it 'hard.' What's up?"

"Ugh, fine. Fine, you want to know what happened? I need to tell someone, but please don't make fun of me. Please, please, please." She looked over at Karel, and seemed to find his calm posture reassuring enought to continue. "I wanted to come here, get lost in the big city, make friends. But people just hate me, so much, they keep laughing at me and calling me names. And hitting me. They told me to run away into the forest and kill myself!"

She exhaled. As Karel replied, she quietly raised her white-stockinged knees onto the bench in front of her, and cried into them.

"Really? What's gotten into them? That's just so insane." His voice sounded like it had in around middle school, with a slight, gruff Eastern European accent and gravelly, animated tone, but a hint of sensitivity.

"Um, maybe... It's because I'm wearing the dress wrong, or because I have pigtails? That's what the teacher said, she said it's usually because you don't look right. I don't know anything, but she should know, right?"

Karel smiled slightly incredulously, but stopped when she shivered and looked at him fearfully. He placed a hand lightly on her shoulder to reassure her that he hadn't been laughing at her. "It's alright, miss. Nobody thinks you're dressed so badly that you should kill yourself. You look fine. By the way, what's your name?"

Her shivering stopped, and she seemed calmer, though she didn't acknowledge it. "Nobody here knows my name... Why should I tell you?" She twisted her body around slightly, and stared at him accusingly with wild, but slightly playful eyes.

He could tell that she was forcing herself to keep up an air of suspicion, so that she wouldn't be caught out unsuspectingly again. But it was quite artificial.

"You won't even tell people here your name? They must have hurt you badly. Fine, it's up to you, I'll ask no more."

"But you can't just think of me as... nameless." She twitched sensitively. "I always think of people by their name first."

"Then I'll call you anything you like. Deal?"

"Fine. Call me Denise, it's my middle name. You're named Karel, right?"

"That's right."

She smiled slightly. "Also, are you sure that I'm wearing the dress right? A 'friend' of mine told me how to, but... she hates me now, I think she was lying."

"It's nothing too bad. I think most girls here don't tuck their shirts in, but some of them do because their parents force them to, so nobody seems to mind. But it might make you look a bit more serious."

"Oh! Okay, thank you." She quietly drew her shirt out from inside her skirt. "But I look fine, right?"

"Yes, Denise."

"That's nice... I came from Castle, you know, the town to the South? Everyone there had skirts tucked in, and we still got along... It wasn't that bad."

Although this town was fictitious, Crucis had a vague memory of it, as people in dreams sometimes recall such places.

"Castle, near Okama? I've heard about it, doesn't it have one of the great lakes next to it? I wish I could go there, the view sounds great."

"Take me with you when you go. I hate this place..."

"Yeah, the way people act here... it's weird. Sometimes they get angry and scream at you suddenly, right?"

She flinched slightly. "That's exactly right! That's how it started! One of the girls had made friends with me on the bus, but then she suddenly got angry at me and started screaming... I don't know why, I think because I was talking about a flower and called it beautiful? It was so nice, smooth and pink and white..." Her fingers gently ran across each other, as if to demonstrate how she imagined the flower's smooth texture would feel. "She was the first person to hate me here. I don't know what I did wrong, I don't know how to fix it. By the way, do you know?"

"Yep?"

"The flower was in the forest. What's wrong with the forest? They keep talking about it, they say I'm from there. Over and over."

"They're scared of the forest. They said there's ghosts. Nobody goes there. But I'm sure there's pretty flowers in there. I actually saw a bird there, it was really colourful. Near Castle, they have some beaches, have you seen mother-of-pearl? It was coloured like that."

Her dark-brown eyes glimmered, almost seeming like a blue and green prism in the dreamy, blue morning light. "Yeah, those are great, I collect them... But they don't have them here. And I think some got left behind when we moved, actually. But what ghosts are in the forest? I thought that ghosts were fairy-tales."

He leaned forwards, as if telling a ghost story at a campfire. "I don't know, they all say they've seen the ghosts. Some even say they were chased around. People used to walk into the forests when they wanted to die..."

"It makes sense, it would be such a beautiful place to die..."

"No need to be so morbid. But it's true."

Suddenly, he heard the sound of loud footsteps, as a tall, prim girl with blonde hair walked across the hallway. She looked like a younger version of Marie-Clare from the Prayer Hallway. He hadn't heard the sound of a door opening as she entered the hallway, she had seemingly just materialised out of nowhere. She had down-cast, dark-green eyes, and was holding a folder to her chest.

"Hi," she said, looking down and giggling. "Hey, why are you hanging out with her? Come and join the rest of us, we're nearly done with class!"

"Safer to stay here, or the teachers will see me skiving off."

"Hmph. I thought you were a daredevil, you're going to let that stop you?"

"Fair point. But I swear the teachers here have X-ray vision, they'll literally notice you behind a wall and start talking."

"Yeah, yeah. They are like that, but X-Ray Vision? What, you think they're looking through my clothes? OMG! I always thought they were old pervs!" she laughed.

"Nah, but Mr. Daniels did seem to have a thing for Penelope."

"Stop that, you'll make me jealous!" She crossed her hands. "Everyone has a thing for Penny. Anyway, leave this girl alone. She's bad luck, if I told the others you were with her they'd flip."

"Bad luck? Is this one of your superstitions, like the Bloody Mary thing?"

She pursed her lips. "No, it's real. And don't act like the Bloody Mary stuff is fake, just because it didn't work once. My cousins all saw it. Don't make fun of me about that... or else."

"Yeah, in fact, I have a bloodthirsty spectre named Mary right in front of me now. It's obviously not fake."

"Hush. I might be named Mary, but I'm not a bloody ghost. Still, don't get on my bad side, just in case."

"Fair warning. Anyway, what do you have against this girl?"

'Denise' was tucked up against Karel's side for warmth, shuddering nervously whenever Mary spoke.

"I mean, isn't it obvious? She used to come to our school when she was just 8 years old. Then she died! Of course she's a ghost. And she even talks about the forest, everyone knows there's ghosts there. Dead giveaway!"

Karel laughed for a moment, and Mary looked at him quizzically, since her tone had been quite serious. "Um, sorry, you were talking about ghosts and shouted 'dead giveaway.' Took me by surprise."

She giggled. "Yeah, alright. Actually, wait, you're new here, so you probably don't know what I'm talking about anyway, right? You didn't even know Diane!"

"Yeah, honestly a bit confused."

"You were just staring blankly at me the whole time, you rogue. You should have told me I was talking nonsense! But seriously, we had this girl named Diane in our class, ages ago. One day she went missing in the woods, then they found her stabbed and hanging from a tree in the forest. She looked exactly like this girl. Exactly. I bet the ghosts took her, and made her one."

"She looks exactly like her? But she doesn't look like an eight year-old, she looks like a teenager. Even a bit older than you."

"Nice way of saying she has big tits."

"Does she? I guess compared to you -"

"Ahem! Alright, but I guess you won't trust me when I just said that. Look, suppose I show you the forest later? I'll leave you with her, but I'll be worried, kay?"

"So you're just going after her because you think she's a ghost?"

"Hm. Maybe! But she does look just like our old classmate, and that stirs up some old memories, so people here get tense easily. After all -"

"That's true, you're not all that level-headed. Didn't you just start screaming at me when I said I wasn't sure about the mirror thing?"

"Yes, and flinging my arms around. Kind of embarrassing, honestly. I'm a socialite, but sometimes I get too invested in things, heh."

"It's alright, just say you were teaching everyone about body language for Psych class."

"Hm. 'Body language.' I mean, I hate that class. They put a name like that on something that everyone does normally, and now I'm like, heck, that sounds uncool. I'm just going to stand still now, right?"

Denise giggled slightly, but tried to hide it.

Karel looked in Mary's eyes mock-sceptically. "Exactly. But I don't believe you, eventually you'll get angry again and then it's a free-for-all."

"Hm. Maybe you're right." She put her hands gently on his shoulders, and leaned forwards. "In fact, I'm mad at you right now! OK, not really."

Her suddenly-raised voice was striking, but she quieted down quickly, realising that she probably didn't want to be seen taking her time on the way back to class.

"Wish you were in my group, would make the Psych project really easy."

"Don't push your luck! Aaanyway, I'll be back soon after class. As for this girl, I guess you won't believe me about the ghost thing... But just trust me, keep your distance."

"Stop talking to her," Denise said, starting up. "She just wants to make you hate me! She's pretty, so you'll listen to her, right? Then you'll leave."

"Now, now, she's no prettier than you," he replied. "But she seems to think you're some other girl. Maybe they're all just really sad about the death of their classmate, and that's why they're getting so emotional?"

"Oh, I'm really sorry for your loss!" she said to Mary in a faint but melodic voice, taking the cue. "If I remind you of someone you loved... I'm sorry."

"Hmph, I don't trust you, ghosty," Mary said, relaxing her tone noticeably as she walked off down the hallway. "You know, I went to a few big cities when my dad came to visit last year. I was so nervous, everything was big and impressive, the people were, like, posh, I could barely speak. I bet it would even be hard for a ghost like you. Look, if you hide near the forest, then the guys won't dare seek you for their 'pranks,' it's what I do when people get angry at me. Now I've said enough."

Denise smiled weakly. "I've never been to the forest properly... but I could try. Thanks!"

There was no reply. However, Denise seemed much calmer, and looked out of a window towards the forest.

"Shall we go, then?" Karel said, sitting up and preparing to walk. "Do you know the way?"

"You'd come?"

"Sure."

"Hm. Thank you so much." She leaned back on the bench, relaxed.

As she calmed, she gradually took on the appearance of her adult, early-20s form, with the long, messy brown hair that her corpse had worn, and wearing lipstick and eyeshadow. Her body was thin and springy, and reared up energetically.

She was reading warmly through a folder containing her old, high school classwork, but shut it sheepishly as she saw Karel beside her. He managed to glimpse a few lines of what she had been reading, which seemed to be a play for an English class. He vaguely remembered the assignment, which had been something like, 'Write a dialogue between two characters who have an argument, but aren't enemies and don't get heated.' It had been a follow-up to another assignment about writing an argument, meant as a corrective because most people had just written screaming matches.

CHRISTINE. It's alright, you can just leave me here for the earth to swallow. They'll come around to harangue me, but they'd leave you alone. You live three staircases down, you won't even hear it.

PETER. I'm not going to leave you, don't worry.

CHRISTINE. No, it's fine, I understand. After all, it's just natural for someone to care more about themselves, all I'm doing is bringing you misery. She's right, isn't she? All I'm here for is to waste your time, to make you suffer. You should just cut me out of your life, for your own good. I know how you feel. I'm a misery who should suffer in silence.

PETER. You aren't. And how am I supposed to enjoy myself hanging out with them, when they're treating you like this? What's natural about it? People naturally have views on the world, and they often try to change it in small or large ways. Is it really possible for me to think so much of myself, that I give up on my views and let them do whatever they want without supporting what I value? That wouldn't make sense. It would be self-abnegation.

Looking around, he realised that he was in his adult body now as well. However, they were still in the same building.

"Hey, thanks," she said. Her voice was quite different now, lively and melodious but slightly deep and metallic. "Remember when we went to the forests here, as a kid? You were the only person who'd come with me. Let's go back there."

"Yeah, let's see what it's like now."

He followed her through the corridor, as she skipped enthusiastically towards the forest. The sound of bells tolling echoed faintly through the building, although he didn't know where from. As it was a dream, the journey didn't have a clear sense of direction or a map, but soon they came to the destination all the same.

Soon, he was standing knee-deep in tall grass, with the girl leaning against a tree in front of him and smiling.

"Oh, yeah, we found that flower here, right?" she said. "I wonder if there's more of them."

While he didn't generally care much for flowers, he did notice a striking pink-and-white blotch hanging from a nearby tree. "There's some of those behind you, to the right."

"Wow, that brings back memories... I'll go and collect some!"

As she walked towards it, a figure suddenly appeared below the flowers. Well, the course of true flower-gathering never was smooth. The figure was a woman with hollow eyes, who wore a thick stretch of leaf-green hair and had a youthful, energetic body similar to the brown-haired girl.

"You are mine, give me your soul," the new figure intoned.

It reached over to grab the girl, holding her firmly by the shoulders, although she kicked and pushed aggressively in response. Her frail body tensed until it looked snake-like, and writhed rapidly from side to side as she tried to push this figure off, but to no avail.

Karel, noticing that he had a dagger sheathed for some reason, withdrew it, and walked up quietly to the figure, stabbing it in the back of its neck. Suddenly, one of its hands darted out like a claw, and drew a deep wound across his chest.

However, the girl rallied and pushed the figure to the ground, where it vanished after a few more strikes from the dagger.

It left no trace, except for a dewy green-blue moss across the rocks on the ground.

"That's never happened before," she said, tearing up slightly. "What's changed? The forest never attacked me before. Never. Hey, wait, I see someone else there! Is it another creature?"

Her dark eyes stared through the trees, the rest of her body drifting effortlessly in the direction of her stare. When she was in the comfort of the forest, her movements were carefree and natural.

She led him deeper into the trees, where they found a heap of bloodied corpses, which Karel recognised as the students of the school they had been in. The dream-like blue shine was particularly prominent here, and reflected off the shadowed corpses like the sheen of a raven's plumage. Light bloomed hazily through the air around them.

"They also became my friends..." she whispered, a trace of her younger, nervous voice sneaking in. "But now they're also gone."

"What happened to them?" he asked.

"Um, I'm not sure." She leaned close to his arm, and whispered. "Maybe it's my fault. Maybe. But don't feel unsafe."

"Why not?"

"Because you were the only one who really liked me. I won't do anything to you... Well, I don't know if I did anything to them. But I had a dream about vines strangling them, now they're here."

Looking closely, he could see signs of strangulation and constriction across the corpses. One of the corpses was Mary's, which still hung to a tree with a few branches, vines, and roots still wrapped around her. She seemed to have been seized aggressively despite a struggle, but had a series of bloody knife-wounds in her that couldn't have been caused by the trees. Around her feet, a few other girls were tangled around the base of the tree.

"I see. Did you dream about the flowers here before seeing them, as well?"

"Oh, yeah," she said. Her voice was frail and soft. "But the flower I dreamed of was red, like, scarlet, blood-like. That vexed me a bit, I thought these flowers looked too soft and girly, I thought you might look down on me because of that. But they seemed identical other than that..."

"Glad we found them again. I remember you once said that the flowers were all you cared about in the world."

"And you! The world is full of emptiness, and it leaves us empty." She gently picked up a white-and-pink flower from the ground, and the pink grew a deep red in her palm. "In the end, all we have is what we've killed."

She pressed the flower into his hand warmly, then disappeared, her brown hair fading into the brown of the soil.

He heard the chirping of a sparrow perk up above him, but couldn't make it out among the trees.