Transformation or Death

Chapter 58

Memory Recovery (4)

To be naked in front of others. This is an act that requires considerable determination.

Ever since Adam and Eve were driven out of Eden in ancient times, people have felt ashamed to be naked in front of others. 

Without any falsehood or deception, purely revealing one’s natural human body.

Stripping off the cloth that envelops and defends oneself goes beyond the simple act of undressing and borders on renouncing authority.

It is the act of casting off one’s self-esteem, anxiety, and rationalization that protect the self, and sharing everything with others.

It cannot be established without considerable trust.

They were like real siblings, like a family that cherished each other. Han Jae-jung’s recent declaration was a statement that trusted Joo Ah-yoon to that extent, as well as a declaration asking her to trust him that much.

“…Brother.”

“There… you know.”

“Yeah.”

“Don’t talk nonsense, please…”

Joo Ah-yoon mumbled wistfully, layering her hand over his.

“Brother Jae-jung, don’t try to casually brush off the memory loss. I still can’t accept that.”  

“…Yeah.”

“And I’m curious about what connection you have with the villain, not suspecting that you’ve become a villain. I never said anything like that. Don’t muddy the point.”

“…..”

Han Jae-jung, whose intentions were instantly seen through, silently smiled.

“Brother Jae-jung…”

Her affectionate gaze gradually began to sharpen. It was not an atmosphere where jokes would work.

“…What do you mean you’ve lost your memory?”

The strength in her hand layered over his began to increase. The hand underneath his flipped over and grasped his hand in reverse.

A warmth like a bird brooding over an egg and a coolness like chains were felt at the same time.

“You’ve lost your memory… What the hell kind of bullshit is that… You called me Ah-yoon, you know. Even called me sister! You spoke like you knew me before! When you claimed not to know before, you had that look like you were lying… like it was a lie… all…”

Joo Ah-yoon was confused.

She knew he was bad at lying. Especially when telling important lies, he would always show his clumsiness. But the tone he used just now was utterly truthful.

He was uttering an utterly truthful-sounding lie.  

She had no way of knowing whether what he just said was true or false, a joke or serious, simply an evasion or meant to confront her.

She remembered him living as a homeless person on a bench under the park. Although there was no explanation, it was more useful than a hundred words in allowing her to guess his hardship.

At the same time, it revealed how much he disliked being involved with her. Even when he was homeless and sleeping outside in late autumn, it meant he didn’t want to rely on acquaintances.

She still didn’t know what the right way to help him was. She wasn’t even sure if it was something she could figure out an answer to.

She didn’t even know if his words now were simply meant to push her away or part of a process to get closer.

Joo Ah-yoon clung to him and asked, “Are you… doing this because you don’t want to see me…?”

She knew it was ugly. But she wanted to be reassured of at least this one thing.

Han Jae-jung swallowed a sigh and opened his mouth.

“Ah-yoon, I told you. I don’t dislike you. But I don’t know you as much as you know me. That’s what’s embarrassing. I’m embarrassed to pretend to know you all when I don’t really know you. It feels like deception…”  

He shifted his gaze to their grasped hands. His words seemed to have a calming effect, as her grip weakened considerably.

“…Unfortunately, the memory loss is real.”

“…!”

The sound of swallowing could be heard. Ah-yoon began trembling her lips as she asked a new question.

“Then could it be… from being involved with the villain…?”   

“…Probably.”

Bang!  

The desk shook again. Cho Ah-yoon’s fist struck the desk, causing the various decorations in the house to precariously rattle.  

“Those damn bastards…!”

She did not hide her anger. Baring her gritted teeth, she fully expressed the enmity towards the villains that she had built up countless times.

“As expected, it’s that Polaris jerk? You got like this from being involved with him?”    

“…..”

Through this truth, ironically, the possibility that Han Jae-jung had become a villain himself resurfaced for Joo Ah-yoon.

“…How did you get involved with him, huh?”

It had been a diminishing possibility until now. 

The violent act that the villain committed against Baek Ah-hee was a despicable act that Han Jae-jung would never do.

Moreover, when she saw him at the hospital before, he seemed to know Joo Ah-yoon completely. So she had believed with certainty that Han Jae-jung had his full memory.

But now doubt had arisen again, thanks to his words.  

“What kind of relationship do you have with that jerk? What relationship made you end up like this?!”

A villain’s memory loss precisely erases only human memories – interpersonal relationships, past experiences, dreams.

Han Jae-jung’s case was similar.  

However, there have been no reported cases of a villain regaining lost memories.

The fall of a magical girl.  

Except for this very rare case.

In fact, it is ambiguous whether this case can even be considered a villain transformation.  

In any case, it was a hypothesis that could not be applied to Han Jae-jung.

“…Did you forget this too?”

“Yeah.”

“Whew…”  

Joo Ah-yoon moved one of the hands grasping his to her forehead. She had a headache.

‘What the hell has this brother been up to all this time…?’

It was bewildering.

Their reunion after so long saw him as a homeless person, the next reunion was at the hospital, and this new reunion was on the roof of the hospital. Turns out through all of this he was actually a patient with memory loss.  

Just thinking that he had truly lost the memories of their times together made her want to cry. Was this how a daughter felt seeing her mother with dementia?

“You really don’t remember anything we went through together?”  

“Yeah… most of it…”

“Don’t you remember when we were in middle school, when you used to hang out with me, when we were dating?”

“The last part is bullshit.” 

“Not totally forgetting everything…what the fuck…?”

Still, it was a small consolation that he didn’t completely forget.

He swallowed his rising resentment and coolly racked his brain.

“Brother, I’m really sorry for doubting you… I’m just naturally insecure. Could you reassure me?”

It was certain he was involved with the villain. 

But was he simply a victim of that involvement? Or….

Joo Ah-yoon moved her fingers up his palm teasingly until she reached his fingertips. She interlaced her fingers with his and held tightly, locking their fingers together.

Lowering the hand she had put on his forehead, she turned her gaze towards him. Fresh teardrops were forming in her eyes, still red from crying earlier. 

“That… that…”

His declaration that he would confidently show his naked body meant he had nothing to hide. It was strange. If he had been monsterized, there should have been traces of it.

That earlier declaration was merely a ruse. A strategy to appeal to confidence while expecting rejection.

Could it be that beneath those clothes, there was a flaw he couldn’t show?

That’s what she thought.

“Just 5 minutes… no, 5 minutes is too much… 3 minutes! No… even 1 minute would be fine….”

The trembling of her interlocked fingers reached Han Jae-jung as well. There was shame reddening her face and tears too. Overcoming this shame, Joo Ah-yoon finally finished her sentence with hesitation.

“Let me see you naked.”

A heavy silence filled the house.

The silence was broken by Han Jae-jung’s scoff. After briefly pondering, he opened his mouth with a snicker.

“…No.”

“Ah why!”

Joo Ah-yoon immediately protested.

“Where did that bold declaration from just minutes ago go!”

“Thinking about it again, it’s a bit ridiculous. Plus, stripping at someone else’s request is crazy.”

“Stripping on your own is crazier! Stop the bullshit and strip!”

She applied more force to their interlocked hands. It was no longer a tender touch, but torture.

“Can’t you do this small favor for your beloved sister?”

“I don’t think I can love you right now.”

“Don’t you trust me, brother?”

“I trust you, but you don’t trust me!”

“You said you’d strip earlier! Just strip! Strip, goddammit!!!”

Showing one’s naked body requires considerable determination and trust. The determination from just minutes ago had now evaporated upon further reflection. 

The reason was simple.

He had realized what was under his clothes. Scars that the light of the stars had not fully healed yet were buried underneath. Scars he didn’t particularly want to show.

Joo Ah-yoon stood up and pulled on their interlocked hands. Han Jae-jung, caught off guard, was pulled along. His body tumbled onto the table. Not missing this chance, she pushed him down to the floor. A doll quickly placed on the floor cushioned the impact.  

Joo Ah-yoon straddled the fallen man.

“Did you think an ordinary person could beat a magical girl?”

“What kind of messed up stuff did our Ahyun grow up watching to act like this…”

“Of course I grew up watching you, brother. Though you’ve grown a bit too compared to back then.”

“Yeah I’ve put on some muscle. Ahyun, I’m heavy so can you get off me now?”

“No.”

She slowly lowered her hand and grabbed the lower part of his top.

“This is just me exercising the right to check that you mentioned earlier. I’m simply carrying out that right.”

He couldn’t argue with that. Han Jae-jung closed his eyes, regretting his ill-spoken words.

Moreover, Joo Ah-yoon’s suspicion only amplified from Han Jae-jung’s resistance just now. Her hesitation vanished. Ignoring the mascot’s vulgar taunts calling her crazy.

“There’s nothing to see anyway…”

She slowly pushed up his top. The moment the skin of a different hue came into view, her hands stopped.  

In an instant, the jewel shone. She could probably hear a voice too. Startled, her body froze.

“…Ah.”

Not missing this frozen moment, he grabbed Joo Ah-yoon’s waist, lifted her body and placed her to the side. Only then could Han Jae-jung free himself from this perverse demon.

“Dispatch location?”

“Uh, yeah… but…”

“Go.”

“Brother, what was that wound from earlier?”

“Don’t worry about it.” 

He awkwardly smiled while fixing his clothes.

“It’s an old wound from long ago.”

“…”

There was no such thing before. She wanted to say that but the words died in her throat. She didn’t know what hardships he had gone through in the years she couldn’t see him.

But Joo Ah-yoon was certain those hardships surpassed her imagination. 

As she moved her hand to where she had seen the wound earlier, he grabbed her hand. Startled, she looked up.

“Ah… that…”

Han Jae-jung smiled, seeming to ask her not to inquire further. Joo Ah-yoon said nothing in return to that smile.  

“Go quickly.”

The jewel kept requesting backup urgently, and the waning afternoon sunlight shone through the window onto them. The reddish sunlight signaled that evening was approaching.

“Then, don’t go anywhere else, just st- no, that sounds weird.”

She hurriedly stood up and ran straight to her room. She came back flustered, clutching a memo in her hand.

“Huff… huff… this… is my number, you know? It hasn’t changed since before… in case you forgot.”

She placed the memo with her number on his hand, then clasped his hand in both of hers.  

“Call me when you miss me. No, just call me for sure! Got it? Personally, I’d like it if you call right after my work is done…”

Trailing off, she spun her now reddened face, perhaps from the sunset, and dashed toward the window.

After a big gust of wind swept through the room, she had transformed into a bird soaring across the sky.  

Han Jae-jung blankly watched her movement before suddenly snapping out of it and standing up.

“She’s still such a kid.”

He closed the window that had been wide open for her departure.

And before even a few minutes had passed, the sound of the front door closing echoed through the empty house.

***

Ippotranslation

***

It had been a hectic day. That’s how Han Jae-jung recounted today.

A flustering day when past connections all rushed in at once.

As he walked, he quietly looked at the number on the memo. Seeing the familiar number, he realized she really had kept the same number all these years. 

He had heard that magical girls frequently change their numbers since their numbers often get leaked, but hers had been the same for years. Since childhood. Her height had grown a bit, but her number remained unchanged.

Probably to receive calls.

If she changed it, it would be troublesome if Han Jae-jung ever tried to contact her.

A bitter taste filled his mouth. 

‘You crazy bastard. What did you do that you never contacted her…’

Cursing at his past self, he walked the evening streets. It was quite a distance to his home, seeming like it would be a long journey.

Following the reddening horizon of the sky, a meteor trailed in a straight line. Like ripples forming on a pond, it dimly split the clouds, leaving a reddish streak.

That streak gradually drew nearer this way.

“Crazy bastard.”

Kwaaang!

The road where the meteor landed split wide open. After a few seconds of vibrations strong enough to shatter windows and crack walls, a woman emerged from the rising smoke.

Upon closer look, she could hardly be called a human woman.

Purple wings spread wide, parting the smoke.

“Is that about me? Aww, not a bad introduction.”

“Judging by how you enjoy being insulted, your tastes are quite clear.”

“Hahah, so you can talk like that too?”

Han Jae-jung looked around to check if Hongik-o was present. Fortunately, there was no sign of it. If he was that suspicious, he should have at least one tailing him. He sighed at Pink Deneb’s kind personality. She had probably felt guilty about stalking and ultimately gave up.

Reassured, Han Jae-jung moved his hand towards his belt.

“Long time no see, Virgo.”

“Indeed~ A month already?”

“Not quite a month yet.”

“Oh? Is that so? It feels like it too~”

Chuckling, Virgo asked, “So, are you in the mood to join me in marching towards world destruction?”

“Transform.”

There was no point listening.

[ASTRONOMICAL OBSERVATION.] 

[THE BIG DIPPER.]

[ORIGIN.]

An incomplete power with an origin but no memory.

Invoking the name of the unfinished constellation, Han Jae-jung stepped forward.

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