Nexus Awakened (An Isekai LitRPG Gender Bender Story)

833. A Wolf, A Moon, and A Mother

A steep cliff face blocked her path now. The Star Child and the Little Frost had taken her to her final stop. They stood off the side and pointed up.

“Waiting! Up! Asteraceae!” The Little Frost lit up.

“Asteraceae… the flowers that bloomed once a year.” Cer saw those flowers along the walls of the cliff. “This is the same wall we passed every year. There should be a path around the left that’ll take me up, but… A shortcut wouldn’t hurt.”

Cer vanished from the ground with a great leap. She climbed the walls with the abilities of her current self as she recalled how much she used to struggle even walking a few meters up the steep slopes. The boulders that once gave her so much trouble was effortlessly blazed.

The bright, pale-blue light of the moon leaned over the cliff the higher she climbed. Vibrant Asteraceae blossomed in increasingly larger patches. Before long, she reached the top and was greeted with the most breathtaking sight.

A field of blue Asteraceae were in full bloom above the mountaintop, and the super moon encapsulated the entirety of the skies. She took a moment to bask in the moonlight. A cool breeze swept by, throwing petals and a sweet aroma into the air.

Then, she noticed a figure standing at the tip of a ledge further ahead.

It was another memory, no doubt. She approached the figure, the soft scrunches beneath her feet eventually stopping just meters behind the figure. Her back was the same as she remembered it.

“… There is a lot I want to say.” The Blue Dahlia began, her voice faded as though embarrassed… no, afraid to speak. “But I know there is so much more you want to get off your chest. Whether you do or decide to push me off this ledge is fine by me.”

Huh? Wait… when did this happen? What memory is this? I don’t remember this at all.

“As long as it’s what you decide then I’m more than happy to oblige. You were in danger. I couldn’t bear to leave you alone… You must be confused. Why would I help you, when all I’ve ever done was hurt you?”

This… it wasn’t Raoul’s memory!?

Cer’s hands hung loosely by her side. Her mouth split agape as she realized just whose wish was granted.

“You don’t have to worry about that, Cer. Or about anything while you’re here. No one will hurt you. I’ll stay right here, so don’t worry. I… selfishly wished to see you again. It’s perigean night, but all I could remember were the countless versions of you I erased hoping to find you.”

“Mom…” Cer couldn’t believe her eyes. “That’s you, right?”

The Blue Dahlia spun around, finally revealing herself to Cer. Her long, black dress sparkled with thousands of tiny crystal beads. The skirt of her dress bounced in the wind and emitted a soft jingle like there were bells hidden beneath.

That apparel was nothing like Cer had ever seen before, but she had heard how the Blue Dahlia did not wear blue despite her name. That part of her name was derived from the color of her eyes.

It was the outfit she wore as a Color, long before she had Raoul.

“Look at how much you’ve grown. You’re… so much taller than I remember.” She wanted to reach out towards Cer, but her hands remained seized behind her back.

An awkward air surrounded her. It was unbefitting for a beauty like her, but it couldn’t be helped. Cer could see how much this was weighing on her mother’s mind, to the point where she could physically see her burdens.

“I am.” Cer spoke softly. “Were you the one who called me here?”

“I was. I’m sorry if it was abrupt.”

“… why are you apologizing?”

“Do you have to ask?” The Blue Dahlia smiled, but it failed to hide the depth of her anguish. “… Ah… I should start from the beginning. Cer… I called you here because I wanted to see you again. I heard you were in trouble, so I had to help you. But maybe that was just an excuse to see you.”

“Why would that matter? This is like a dream come true for me.”

“… Really now? Heh…” The Blue Dahlia was able to mellow slightly in response.

She saw this as an invitation to begin explaining herself to her dear daughter.

“… I made many mistakes trying to keep you out of sight. There were people who would give anything for a chance to have you. You have the blood of a Child of Adam and a Seer of Evelyn. The amount of Light you have is unordinary. I tried to hide you, but… I only hid you from myself.”

“That was a long time ago.” Cer wasn’t as torn about this as her mother.

After all, Cer had already moved on, so there was no point in mulling over what couldn’t be changed. Still, she understood how her mother felt. How awkward it must be for her to hear the calm, understanding voice of the same child she had brutally condemned.

She had expected Cer to respond to her violently. Instead, there was a sense of longing in her words and in those crimson eyes.

“How long ago, if I may ask?” She asked.

“You don’t have to tread carefully around me.” Cer smiled and reached out towards her.

The Blue Dahlia carefully took that small hand, and in that moment, the worries she held faded away. Her mother’s hand was warm, like she had been keeping them cozy just for her.

“… You’ve grown strong, haven’t you Cer?” She managed to hum.

“It’s been more than 30 years… after all.”

The Blue Dahlia struggled to hide her sorrow. Her eyes widened as she struggled to find a place to keep her gaze. What probably felt like days had already elapsed over several decades. The fact that Cer looked barely a few years older than she remembered only further caused her to lament.

But it was too late for that. Her mother knew that there was no use lamenting further. In fact, she had come prepared expecting to be punished or ousted by her own child.

“… 30 years… I can’t imagine it… what you must have been through without me. Or would it be a blessing, considering…”

Cer shook her head slowly and took her mother’s other hand into hers. Suddenly, Cer put on a toothy grin – the same kind she’d show her mother on this same night, and cheekily said:

“Like you wouldn’t imagine.” It was the truth woven into joke. “But it wasn’t all that bad. We had our own problems with memory loss, but that was because we couldn’t face ourselves. For 30 years we ended up being trapped in the present. It really wasn’t until recently that we started to remember the past so… Yeah, I guess it was bad.”

Cer laughed, but her mother could only wince in response.

“… I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. We’re doing better now. Isn’t that what matters in the end? I’m happy, you know that, right? This whole time I thought you hated me. But I didn’t know how much of a softie you were, aha… ah…”

Cer shook her head again, using the air to evaporate her tears before they could form in the corner of her eyes.

“Tch… I’m sure… you were hurt just as much as I was. Isn’t that why you showed me those memories?”

“I wanted you to know the excitement I felt leading towards your birth. And how quickly it turned into a tragedy. I just wanted to protect you, but in doing so, I only hurt you. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Now Raoul’s doing something worse… Cer. Is it ok if I hold you like this?”

“Always.”

“Thank you. I never would have thought I’d have the opportunity to talk to my children again.” The Blue Dahlia finally smiled without a shred of worry. “That person is to thank. Cer… Cer. Do you know that person? The one up there?”

The one up there? Well, there’s really only one person I can think of. That’s you Frost, huh.

“Frost? She’s the reason why we doing better now.”

“Frost. Such a cold name. Ahaha…” She managed to slip in a joke. “… I’m grateful. Eternally so… 30 years is a long time. Enough time for your father to find you. You can’t be hidden from him forever. Nor your sisters. But you… you’ll be wanted by him the most.”

She reached out towards Cer’s head, but hesitated.

Cer slowly lowered her head, inviting her mother to pat her.

“… Mm.” She hummed, delighted by Cer’s kindness. “If I had known you’d grow up so strong, or relied on Galia more, then there wouldn’t have been a need for this. Can I ask you something again, Cer? It’s… what I originally called you here for until I let my emotions take over me.”

“Anything. Please, ask me anything. I’m listening.” Cer obediently said.

“Are you Tempered?”

“They say I’m Tempered to the Second State.”

“Oh~?” The Blue Dahlia’s eyes sparkled. “You even know about the Emotional State?”

“It’s what Frost told me.”

“That Frost person must be just like Evelyn. She was the first person who taught me about the States. It was because of her that I was able to become a special kind of Color~ Cer, do you understand what the Light it?”

“We’re still figuring it out.”

“That’s good enough~ We, Cer, have enough Light where it was possible for me to lap up the waters of Lethe and take its power for my own. We’re like big, absorbent sponges. Looking back, that was probably where it all went downhill… What I mean to say is that you, your sisters, Raoul even – you have so much Light that there’s a lot of possibilities open to you… And you’re even Tempered.”

The Blue Dahlia removed one of her hands from Cer. She held out a finger, and just like that – a bright, tiny ball of Light formed at her fingertip.

“You can control your emotions even better than I can from what I see. You’ve grown so strong. A Moon of the Nexus… my own daughter. I’m so happy, but I know what you must have gone through to become one… Are you happy?”

“More than happy…”

“… Is Raoul happy?”

“He’s the reason why you’re…”

“… I’m aware. I won’t tell you stop what you’re about to do. Raoul… has always had trouble expressing himself. As a mother I can’t help but still love him, but…”

The expression the Blue Dahlia wore was one of longing. Longing for something beyond this world. Cer had seen that look countless times before, and she knew precisely what it meant.

Cer swallowed heavily. Her mother seemed to sense her unease, and so, she brought their heads close.

“Cer. Let me show you how to use the Light. What I am about to teach you will allow you to augment your Skills and weapons with it. We call it Absolution.”