On Astral Tides: From Humble Freelancer To Astral Emperor

Two Hundred And Fifty-One

“Well, I apologise for prying without asking but… who are you? Where the hell is Shiro?” I asked, stunned at her transformation. The now red-eyed and flame-haired beauty in front of me smiled, but it wasn’t the sort of smile I was used to seeing on Shiro, not a smile of teasing amusement, or excitement about her game or some anime, but a smile of greed, of hunger.

“Shiro is here. With me. But right now I believe I am required. Your gaze is intrusive. Cease immediately, it does not please me.” She licked her lips, though it wasn’t seductive at all, merely… thirsty.

“Uh…” I let the amber glow of my Eye fade, though I didn’t lower my guard, but my mind was racing. Shiro’s a Candidate? But… this doesn’t seem like a skill, she seems like an entirely different person… My confusion and wariness must have shown on my face, as a brief expression of pain crossed the features of the beautiful woman in front of me, and one eye returned to the black shade I was so used to, her flaming hair starting to dye silver again, though various strands and the tips were still a brilliant rusty crimson, faint flames flickering. It’s lucky those flames don’t give off any smoke and there are candles in here anyway, so no fire alarms can go off… but shit, what do we do when the waiter comes in to see if we want more drinks? Thinking useless thoughts I fixed my gaze on the strange being that appeared to be Shiro.

“Well, I’m not sure I should be surprised. You’ve changed a lot, Aki.” Shiro said, her voice normal again. Her black eye was looking at me, amused, while the red one was still aggressive, not matching the facial expression. It was a little disturbing, like looking at a composite of two disparate people. “Still, I didn’t think you were like me. The odds of it seemed rather slim. Hard as it was to believe, the most likely explanation was you just got your act together when you got engaged. If it was Yasu, I’d never have believed that…”

Hearing the joke in her teasing tone relaxed me, and I slumped back in my seat, still confused but a little relieved. Yeah that’s still Shiro. Nobody can fake our princess…

“Don’t be so wary, Tan.” Shiro said. “That’s Aki. He wouldn’t hurt me. He’s not the sort. You were listening, right? Besides, he’s trying to ask me out. That hasn’t changed, right?”

Before I could answer, the other side of Shiro spoke up, her tone different completely. That’s Tan, right? Is that a name, nickname, or what? Is she possessed or something even crazier? “Do not be naïve, my little princess.” Tan said, twisting Shiro’s face into a frown. “He was looking deep inside you, such an act is not merely a gross invasion of your privacy, but a clear threat to you. Besides…” she licked her lips again, and I noticed that all of a sudden her lips were dry and cracked, as if she hadn’t eaten or drank for days. It looked painful, and was different to how she had looked only moments before. And it isn’t like we haven’t just been eating and drinking…

“… you do know he used his vision to see beneath your clothes? Everything was laid bare to him, each nook and cranny that nobody else has ever seen.”

Shiro froze at that, as did I, the description too lurid. Well it’s true I caught a glimpse, but only for a second. Though my traitorous mind could clearly remember it vividly.

“Really? Aki wouldn’t have the guts… I would have said. But you’ve changed.” She puffed out her cheeks in an adorable and annoyed pout. “That’s such a Yasu move, I’m disappointed and angry.”

“Uh, no, Yasu wouldn’t do that.” I defended him. “Even that time Aimi-chan was drunk and the clasp on her skirt broke he didn’t…”

“You were all supposed to forget that!” Shiro snapped. “Besides, no changing the subject!”

“I’m sorry.” I bowed low, genuinely apologetic. “I didn’t expect that would happen, and it was only for a moment. I just wanted to see if I could identify your physical issues, and also if your weakness was caused by a subtle body defect. I was planning to see if I could help you.” I said all that in a rush under her disapproving black and red stare, before taking a deep breath to steady myself. “I’ll take responsibility, I promise!”

Shiro growled, before her face twitched and she was suddenly laughing bitterly, two separate responses a beat apart. “Take responsibility? You offering to marry me, Aki? That’s one hell of a way to get what you want…” a long sigh then followed. “Look, Tan. I believe him, all right. Anyway, Aki, you don’t need to take responsibility…” her face was pink, and her dark eye looked down, embarrassed. “You should be thankful, you are the only man to see this princess that way since I was a child. My doctor is a woman now. Though sometimes she still looks at me strangely…” she stared at me then, her red eye blazing. “Well, Tan, you probably want more food and especially drink, right? Aki can pay as a token of apology. We need to talk. Honestly.”

“Fine.” I agreed, glad to get over that awkwardness. I went and spoke to a waiter, and soon there were multiple meals on the table, as well as wine, beer, sake, juice and more, enough to feed six or seven people. Watching Shiro… well, this Tan I guess… shovelling a huge amount of food into Shiro’s mouth, washing it down with barely a pause with great mouthfuls of liquid, was a surreal sight indeed.

“Uh, you don’t get sick doing that, do you?” I asked, and Shiro shook her head, still eating, but when she finished swallowing, she answered.

“No, it may be my body, but it’s Tan who is eating. It’s a spiritual thing, apparently. I don’t get it. Well, I do get to taste what she eats at least, and I don’t put on weight… it’s been a pain on my meagre budget though, luckily I get money from… well, that doesn’t matter, does it?”

Money from who, or where? “So, a few things are making sense. You don’t seem as tired and fragile as normal. When we were out last time you only started collapsing when I mentioned you were doing better than usual… so, tell me, are you cured?” If so I’d be grateful to this Tan, at least a little.

“Not exactly.” Shiro disagreed though, dashing my hopes. “Though I’m a bit stronger than before. Don’t get me wrong, Aki. I’m still pretty tired now, but Tan can take over if I’m ever in trouble, so I don’t have to worry about collapsing somewhere and getting into danger!” she flexed one arm, showing off, while the other was deftly slicing up another steak.

“So, you don’t get many stat gains from levelling then?” I asked, and Shiro fixed me with her single black eye. She swallowed hastily, before sighing. “Seriously Aki, this isn’t a game. You don’t just beat up some trash mob and gain a level or two. Are you taking this seriously? Wait a minute…” she paused. “Aki, you’re otaku through and through, there’s no way you’d make that sort of mistake.” Both of her eyes glittered, excited, the red one glowing hungrily. “Shit, you went and got the classic, didn’t you?” she gave me a thumbs-up with one hand. “Trust Aki to get the appraisal cheat, right? You did, didn’t you? Starts off shitty but a smart hero can really leverage it to success.”

“I guess you could say that, yes.” I agreed. I can give Shiro some information. She’s Shiro! Besides, now there’s another option… “So, yours is uh… this Tan girl, right?”

“Not exactly.” Shiro sighed. “Why don’t you take a look and see? Wait, just at my stats, if you look at me naked again I’ll kill you, I swear! It’s all right, Tan, I trust Aki.”

“Well, it’s not exactly that convenient.” I said. “It only works fully on myself, or those… well, connected to me. Don’t get me wrong, I can divine a few details if I know what I’m looking for, but…”

“Still too low level, huh? For shame, Aki!” Shiro’s grin was back, and close to what was normal, the smile she had when talking about her game or a manga she liked. “I’d have expected you of all people to be grinding non-stop! Or have you been spending too long wooing your childhood friend and building a harem? Shit, Aki, that stuff has to come when you are overpowered, not before… hang on a minute…” she blinked at me, stunned, which came out more as a wink, as the red eye was still staring.

“Aki. I get it. I do. Serious talk time. Uh, Tan, can you go easy on the drinking for a minute?” as her arm put the half-drunk can of beer down, Shiro looked at me, expression pensive. “I’m glad in a way. Tan isn’t someone who understands this, and I only have one other person I can talk to about these matters, and she… well, she’s not exactly easy to talk to.”

I sat there silently, listening, and that got me a smile. “If it had to be someone I knew, I’m glad it’s you, Aki. Hayato would be good too, but… well, he’s not a fighter, is he? You have experience. I remember when Yasu and Shugo made you show everyone your scars. They aren’t that impressive, but… well. Damn, this is hard to put into words, and it makes me sound a bit shitty, but… well, I’m a princess, I can be forgiven that, right?”

“Just say it. We agreed honesty, right?” I said reassuringly, reaching out a hand to her, placing it on hers across the table. She looked down surprised, before looking up at me again, shaking her head. Still, she didn’t move her hand.

“Smooth bastard. Even Hayato would be proud of that move. Shit, I’m going to text Eri that you were hitting on me, Aki. Anyway… look. We used to reminisce all the time when drunk, right? Which Sekirei would you want, what world would you want to be isekai’d to, which super-power would you like, which manga character would you swap with?”

“Yasu said Yuuki Rito, I remember.” I smiled, squeezing her hand reassuringly, waiting for what she really wanted to say. “I said at least be Negi Springfield, right? Hah, thinking back, I think that’s a bit ironic.”

“How so?” she asked, and I waved off the question for later. “Fine.” She said. “Look. I’m ill, right? And not just normally sick, but a sickness nobody can diagnose properly. I’m also amazingly cute, right? Just like the heroine of a story. There’s only two ways I can go from there, see?” She was talking seriously, and I could feel her trembling pulse through her hand. “Either I can curse the unfairness of life, give up and die… or I could believe I was special. A princess. I’m special. I’ve always known it. I was just waiting for my time to come. The world I was building, my game… it’s a representation of my dream of being someone important, to be…”

“You are important.” I assured her. “To me, to Hayato-san and the others. Hell, I’m sure even the girls at your dorm think you’re important.”

“Flatterer.” She scoffed. “But I don’t hate it. Anyway, as I grew older, surprised I was still alive, well… it turns out I’m special after all. I was right.” her smile turned bitter, which surprised me as she was vindicated, she should have been happy.

When I said as much, she sighed again. “Oh Aki. I don’t know how it was for you, but I’m too special. Tan, please explain. I don’t mind if Aki knows, after all… well, that’s for later.”

“If you are sure. I hope this is not unwise.” Her voice changed. “You think you are special, man? One in a hundred thousand, chosen by a divine being? Well, perhaps you are.” She said, and it was unnerving, the completely different tone, inflection and word choice she was using compared to Shiro throwing me off. “But if you are one in a hundred thousand, she is one in a hundred million. The fact she still lives is surely divine providence.” Her burning gaze fixed me, and I couldn’t look away.

“Well, this girl… she should not be alive. A world without connection to the higher Astral, the lands of the divine… her body, an atavistic reversion to an older form, requiring spiritual power to survive…” she shook her head, silver and crimson hair cascading, her dark eye looking sad and bitter. “Rare are those who regress so, and they would likely perish young, if they were carried to term at all. After all, the spiritual informs and influences the physical.”

“What she’s saying, Aki…” Shiro took over once more. “Is that I was special after all. But born at the wrong time. My body needed spiritual power to function. I think it’s called aether, right?”

I nodded at that, allowing her to continue. Small, silvery tears were sliding down one of her cheeks as the black eye wept. “It’s not fair. Not at all. why did I have to be so unlucky? One in a hundred million? I could have won the lottery with odds like that, Aki. Though somehow I’d still have ended up with less money than you…” she grumbled, forcing a smile, though it was strange, as only half of her face responded. “… no wonder the doctors and specialists couldn’t ever find anything. I guess my parents were right, even if they were selfish. Their money would have been wasted…”

“It wouldn’t have been a waste.” I denied that. “Even if it didn’t help you physically, if it made you feel happier, gave you peace of mind, it would have been money well spent.”

“I see. Well, not everyone thinks like you, Aki. Shit, if you love your future kids like you do your sister, assuming you don’t get arrested, they’ll be happy, well-loved kids.” She made a crude joke, lowering the rising tension a little. “But… well, now I see the reason for it all. it’s all so obvious in hindsight. I was born for this.”

“So, uh… your ability is to share a body with this Tan, right? That’s unusual, and isn’t it a problem in your daily life?” I asked, feeling her out. I want to know everything, and then I’ll ask her to join me. Another candidate would be really helpful, especially it being Shiro. I know I can trust her, and since I want to protect her, well, two birds, one stone, right?

“Not exactly. As for my daily life…” she shrugged. “Tan sleeps most of the time, when she’s not eating or drinking. Or when…” her gaze softened. “Shit, you know what I mean, Aki, you must do.”

I think I do. Nodding slowly, I agreed. “It still seems hard though. You’ve got used to spending your daily life alone…”

“Well, what choice did I have?” she began, before her voice changed.

“I shall explain it from here. Though first, I demand fair recompense. If you speak of your divine favour without lies, I shall speak of this girl’s.”

“Fine. I don’t know or trust you, Tan, I’d be a fool to, but I came here to persuade Shiro to let me see if I could fix her with my skills. I had no intention of keeping secrets from her.”

“Really, I thought you came here to ask me out and make me feel bad for rejecting you, Aki.” She joked.

“Well, I did that too. But this pretty much changed everything.” I freely admitted it, and seeing half of her face blush was a fairly unique sight, though this Tan girl wasn’t amused it seemed, half Shiro’s face twisting into a scowl. “Fine. I’m a chosen of Tyr.”

“Tyr? That’s Norse, right? Pretty classic. I see you still have both hands though.” Shiro observed, knowing the myth. “But why is that an info cheat? I’d expect some badass combat skills instead…” she suddenly started sniffing, surprising the black eye, her tongue appearing from between her parched lips, though it was far from erotic.

“I see. Yes, I taste them on you.” She licked her dry, cracked lips. “But none of their divinity, not truly… strange. I smell wood, and blossom, and… hmm, I wonder…” she grinned, pointed teeth off-putting.

“Well, yeah, I get that I seem a bit irregular. But I assure you I’m being honest. Apparently my blessing is called Silver Wisdom, and it comes from the World Tree. I guess that’d be Yggdrasil, right, if we follow the myths? When you think of it like that, it makes sense why I’d have an appraisal skill. Though what that has to do with Tyr I don’t know…” 

“A blessing from the World Tree?” Tan was looking at me hungrily, and Shiro’s hair was starting to darken. Yeah, I do not like that look. Not at all.

“Uh, Shiro, can you tell her to stop looking at me as if she wishes to eat me? There’s still plenty of food and drink left…” I said, and Shiro giggled.

“Oh Aki, don’t worry, I won’t let big bad Tan gobble you up…” suddenly her giggles stopped for a moment, and an expression of pain crossed half her face, so briefly I would have missed it apart from my enhanced stats. She hesitated, just a beat too long to be natural, before cracking another joke. “I guess you are a bit of a weakling if you are an information cheat guy, huh? Well, this princess can protect you! After all, I’m…” she paused. “… well, Tan is strong!”

“Protect me, huh? That’d be a role reversal.” I pretended I hadn’t noticed her hesitation, nor the heated look I was getting from Tan. This seems complicated. I need to tread carefully here… “So yeah, I’ve revealed mine, so show me yours.”

“You already saw everything, Aki.” Shiro pouted, making a joke. “But, well… Tan, should I explain it?”

“Well, we did not set a price for betrayal of the contract, so…” Tan said some ominous words.

“I’m not going to cheat Aki. Not when he was honest with me. Though I wonder if he’d have said he was peeping at me if you didn’t catch him, Tan.” She poked fun at me. “Look. I don’t have any power. Apparently my spiritual body was too starved and atrophied to accept it, despite my affinity being super mega high. Just my luck, right? I was special, like I thought, like I wanted, but my body was too shitty to accept my destiny. I really wanted to cry… talk about unlucky, right?”

“I don’t know if it would be lucky or unlucky. After all, this isn’t a game, and life isn’t a story. But I get it. You thought your chance had come, that kind world you were looking to build there in front of you, yet your fingers couldn’t reach it, flailing away desperately, nearly able to touch it but always falling short…”

“Shit, Aki is waxing poetic now? Be still my heart. But yeah, that’s exactly it.” She agreed. “I thought it was a cruel joke. I seriously considered just killing myself then…” she bit at her lip with half her mouth, blood springing free, running down her flawless skin, dripping to the tablecloth below, staining it. “But then Tan suggested something else…”

“I’m not exactly liking where this is going…” I said, having guessed.

“Well, apparently I only had a year or two left before my spiritual body would entirely fail. I’d be sad my game would never be finished. Though in my will I’d deed it to you, so you could publish in my honour! No, no time for jokes… honestly, I was frightened, but also resigned, you know. I’ve been preparing for death all these years, Aki. I never got to go to school, but at least I had Uni. They’ve been good years. I’d have missed you all, but… hell, some people don’t even get to live as long as me. But then… Tan said there was a way. Look, Tyr didn’t come to you himself, did he?”

I shook my head. “No, it was a Valkyrie.”

“Oh cool, that must have pleased you, Aki. You were always a sucker for hot, busty girls. Damn, thinking of it, that’s me!”

“Well, she was hidden under a cloak, so I didn’t see much of her, unfortunately.”

“A shame. But anyway… so, the spiritual realm here is kind of a dead zone, right? Like if you imagine the spiritual world, the Astral, is like an ocean, worlds and universes floating within, we are in a spot nearly devoid of oxygen. So the fishes that are the Gods can’t really enter where we are. So they send little fishes, who can hold their breath for a while, to bring shiny gifts to those of us within who can handle them. Clear so far?”

I nodded. “Yeah, though surely more powerful beings could easily make the journey…”

“You think the Gods have nothing better to do than toss trinkets to tiny fish who merely look pretty but have no real power?” Tan said, taking over. Shiro rolled her eye at being interrupted. “No, they send messengers down, who can stay but a brief while, making sure the right fish get the right trinkets. But to extend this analogy, the ocean around the bubble is full of many predators, and too large a visitor or too long a stay will churn the water and allow oxygen to diffuse within, drawing those predators. And how can a little fish…” now it was a little saliva dripping, not blood. “… avoid becoming food for a bigger fish? By staying unnoticed and growing in safety…”

This sounds pretty much like my Gu Vessel theory. Here, the little fish steal the trinkets from the other fish and grow bigger, until they are the biggest fish in the dead spot. That way when there is enough oxygen there are at least a few big fishes to fight back. But is it really the best way? Surely with more guidance…

“Yes, many fish will perish. The predators outside are brutal. But a lucky, clever and brave fish might well survive long enough to fend off the hungry eaters. Then as the water is no longer without oxygen… well, there is a chance for that world to survive, thrive and join the ranks of larger, safer seas.”

“I get it. That’s the factions, right? Like I would join the Norse one, I expect?” That still doesn’t explain why we ended up in a place devoid of oxygen when we clearly had higher ether density in the distant past and contact with the lower Astral. Shaeula and the fact we know of pantheons like the Norse ones are proof of that… I wasn’t sure of how much I could trust Tan, as she had no more reason to give me information than Ortlinde did, much less reason in fact, but it did track with some of my thoughts. Shiro at least wouldn’t lie to me. Though again I can’t be sure Tan would have been honest with her either…

“Is it not natural to be thankful to the benefactors that fed you poor starving fishes?” Tan continued the metaphor. “Food and drink is a sacred gift. But… that is not relevant. No.”

“Look, Aki.” Shiro switched back in charge. “I’ll make it simple. Unlike you, I wasn’t able to accept it. I was doomed to waste away and die…”

“No you weren’t. I came here determined to do my best to save you.” I rebutted.

“With your appraisal? Right.” she said sadly, dismissing me. “I mean, I’m sure you have some good ideas, Aki. You’re clever, and you seem motivated. But I was beyond help. Until Tan suggested something crazy. After all, I’m one in a hundred million. She said that she could use the gift she was supposed to give out to merge with me instead, making her a substitute for my shitty, worthless spiritual body. It’s just like divine possession, right? Though Tan isn’t a Goddess…”

“That sounds… drastic. For both of you.” I said, worried. “Why? And I‘m asking you both that.”

“You think I need to answer to you? You may be a good friend of hers, but I am rather unimpressed by your insolence.” Tan declared, but Shiro chided her.

“Oh come on, Tan. Don’t be rude to Aki. It’s a fair question. It’s crazy. I admit it. But… what did I have to lose? I was going to die anyway. Instead I get the chance to live my life. Not a normal one, but a special one… you must get that, right? After all, you were chosen too!”

“As for me, well it is an opportunity. To find someone I could occupy… I can remain here, not disturbing the water, hidden. And surely when the time for the predators to come dawns, I will be at the forefront, ready to devour them and drink deep of the spoils of war. And how tasty it will be.” The red eye glared at nothing balefully. “Worlds where the Sole God holds sway, their followers worshiping the Throne… they usually triumph. I find that state of affairs intolerable. So I saw opportunity. I could have found another who could accept the favour I carried. But… anchored safely here I shall find it possible to remain, long after all the other messengers bringing gifts have departed.” She shrugged. “Slowly over time, the strength I gain will repair her wasted astral body, so eventually, when I triumph, I shall free her, and her destiny is then her own.”

 I noticed that the fires were dying down in her hair, which was almost entirely silver again. “I grow weary. The Material here is most uncomfortable. Too little ether.” She quickly dragged a bottle of sake to her mouth and drank the whole thing, which was worrying enough as an entire bottle in only a few seconds couldn’t be good, but Shiro seemed unaffected. “I shall slumber, unless you have need of me. But be careful. He is a rival, do not forget that.”

With that her hair fully returned to her natural silver and her eye turned black. “Well…” Shiro said, smiling slightly. “I guess we were both surprised today, right Aki?”

“I’ll say.” It was a lot to process, and I had many concerns. “So… are you sure you can trust her?”

“A hundred percent? Well, before, no, but now… I’m confident. We’ve been together a while now. Though she doesn’t really show herself much here, it makes her… well, you saw.” She gestured to the empty bottles and cans and plates cleaned of their contents. “Shit, your bill is going to be massive tonight, Aki. The food isn’t cheap here I bet. Still, worth it for a candid look at my body though, right?”

“Are you going to hold that against me? It was an accident. I suppose it makes sense why your network I saw was so crappy though. It’s vestigial, and I didn’t get to look deep enough to see this Tan.”

“No, I won’t hold my body against you, Aki!” she teased, though it seemed a bit forced. “So, I was wondering… how are you finding it? The spiritual world? The Boundary. It’s… well, it’s not a game, is it? Even if you can see stats and levels.”

“No, it’s definitely not a game.” I sighed. “It’s life or death. To be honest… I don’t see how you’d cope with that. I’m worried for you.” I remembered the battles, the injuries, the killing. “Sure, it’s all fun and games fighting bugs and giant rats, but when you have to fight sentient creatures… and kill them… It stops being a game then.”

“So, you’ve done that?” Shiro asked. “No, of course you have. You don’t half-ass things. Tonight is proof of that." she sighed.” "Yeah, well, it isn’t exactly like I can do much myself, but though it looks like it, I’m not asleep when Tan fully takes over. I still see, hear, taste and feel everything she does. I can advise her, ask her to stop… and you asked why I trust her. Two reasons. The first was… she let me make a terrible mistake.”

My expression must have been a picture, as she snorted. “That’s cute Aki, but don’t worry. I’ve told you, I’m still white. In fact, it was another woman who betrayed me. Though I guess I have been the subject of a lot of pushy advances from lesbians too…” she laughed weakly at the joke, drinking from a half-empty can of beer to steady her nerves. “She was like us. How did I find her, you ask? Well, she found me…” She put down the now-empty can. “An older woman, very motherly. Full of advice, wanting to help… I fell for it. And you know me, I don’t trust easily!”

“Yes, you do put up a certain shell. A defence mechanism.” I agreed.

“Well, Tan didn’t trust her, but I was just so happy to have someone to talk to about this stuff. Then one day, a month or so in… she tried to kill me. Luckily Tan had pretended to just be my ability, so she was caught out when Tan took over. And now… she’s dead.” She looked so downcast. “Do you know Aki? What it’s like to kill someone else? Of course you don’t. Goblins and so forth… sure, they may have minds, but it’s not like killing another human, is…” at her bitter self-reproach I was on my feet, wrapping her in a deep hug, pushing her to my chest. She made to protest, tears sparkling on her cheeks, but I wouldn’t let go. A brief flash of red was in her eyes, probably Tan watching warily, but seeming to know I meant no harm Shiro’s eyes remained black.

“Look, Shiro, it wasn’t your fault. I promise. She betrayed you. Being too trusting… well, it’s not a good thing. I know it’s a fault I have myself. But… I’d rather trust and be betrayed than not trust anyone and miss out on friends, allies, lovers.” After all, if someone betrays me now, I’m strong enough to overcome it and strike back. “It was Tan, right? You may have felt it, but…”

“You just don’t know, Aki! How could you?” she repeated. “I’m Tan and Tan is me! It was me, I snapped her neck and watched her choke to death, and then Tan… ugh. Well, I’m a murderer! That’s why… it was great to see everyone again, forget about it for a while, laugh at stupid jokes, talk about happy things. I wanted to be special, I did. I wanted to live, but the price is heavy. Still… I don’t regret it! I’m saving the world, Aki. The world may hate me, it wanted me dead, but I’ll save it, and if I have to dirty my hands…”

“That was close.” I said, surprising her, as it seemed random.

“What was?” she sniffled, annoyed I interrupted her self-flagellation.

“If my Resilience stat was any lower I’d have kissed you then to shut you up.” I joked. Though she looked so tragic, so beautiful, it was genuinely hard to resist…

“You’re still hitting on me now? I’d have bit off your tongue Aki!” she snapped, embarrassed. “I’m saving my first kiss for…”

“… for me.” I declared confidently. “I’m surer than ever I’m the one for you! After all… I do understand. After all, I’ve killed people, and I don’t even have the excuse that it was someone else like Tan. My family, friends, innocent bystanders… they were threatened, by my mistakes, so I had to take that burden, put it right. I too want to save the world, Shiro. I understand your pain, the guilt, the grief, the haunting feeling it was wrong, that I could have done better, that I’m making mistakes. But I just have to look at the smiles on the faces of Eri and the others to know… it was worth it. And I want, I need to see that smile on your face too, Shiro.”

She looked at me then, her dark eyes searching mine. “That’s selfish. You’re asking for all of my love, and only giving me a portion of yours in return. How’s that fair? You’re being a jerk, Aki.”

“Yes. I freely admit it’s not fair. But… who else can understand your struggles and support you? And I… I’ll never betray you. You know that. Besides, if a portion of my love makes other guys look like trash, how are you losing out? We’ll finish your game together, and make that kind world you craved a reality in this world too. But it won’t be just you and me. It’ll be all of us, together. Friends you can trust, who understand your struggles… I can be there for you.”

“Wait… wait just a minute, let me think!” she snapped, bright red flaring, but on her skin, not her hair and eyes. She was trapped within my embrace and I could feel her heart beating, weak and irregular, but somehow very soothing. “Stop trying to overcome my common sense with this smooth gigolo bullshit. You are shining right now, it makes me all confused and I start to think about your new looks and your damn bank balance… shit.” She took a deep shuddering breath. “Aki. No talking crap. You’ve killed? People?”

“Yeah. Three so far. Two had just shot a Detective and were about to kill an innocent policewoman. She was our age. I’d tried to sort things without anyone dying, but that was my reward. I also… well, I killed another one like us. He was garbage, worse than garbage. I’m glad you never met him. He deserved death, but… my reasons weren’t exactly pure. I’m not proud of it.” I looked her in the eyes, showing my sincerity. ”But I’d do it again. And if it was for you…”

“You must have really worked that appraisal to get stronger. The people I know…” she closed her mouth, but I didn’t miss it. She must know others. She said she had someone to talk to about this but she was ‘hard to talk to’ earlier. I don’t think she meant Tan. “Look, there are some monsters out there with powers that are deadly. Your knowledge cheat isn’t going to cut it, Aki.” She reached out a hand, touching my cheek, which surprised me. It was quite a gentle, tender touch. “I don’t want to see you die. Not like they did…”

“They?” I asked, and she nodded.

“There was a second reason I trust Tan, right? Well… promise me Aki. I tell you this and you never tell anyone else.” She was deadly serious, but we were finally truly talking about what mattered, so I was happy to promise. At my nod, she whispered. “There was a second one like us. A guy. He was no good too. So… Tan killed him. But… she can take the divine favours away from those she kills and use them. Not often, it’s not easy, but…”

Conqueror, maybe? Or something else… “You think a knowledge cheat is busted? Skill-taking is worse.” I joked, and she scowled.

“It’s not a joke. The ability… it was from some sort of judgement god, I think. The ability was to enforce contracts, and if either party broke the terms, then they would have to pay compensation as agreed, and if not… well, their spiritual body would be destroyed.”

“That explains what Tan said earlier. And why you’ve been telling me to abide by my promises recently. So, you say you trust Tan now. I guess you have a contract too?”

She nodded, face still damp, her long flowing hair cascading, tickling my hands. “Yes. Tan pledged that when she is victorious and becomes the true ruler of this world, an Astral Empress, and forges her own divine domain, ascending to true Godhood, that I’ll be free. But not just free, by then she says that she’ll have empowered me enough to live centuries more, happy and healthy. In exchange…  I’m not allowed to stop her from doing what she needs to do to win. Even if that means… killing. So yes, I’m still a murderer. I’m responsible for every death that Tan causes from now on. I agreed to it, Aki. I agreed.”

More information. So, Astral Emperors rule worlds. Does that mean there can only be one, or could there be more? After all, what’s a world? Our Universe is full of them… and Godhood. So Tan is something like Ortlinde, at best a demi-god or pseudo-divine being…

“If either of us betrays the other, then the contract will activate, and the compensation is… the life of the other.” She shuddered. “So you see, I trust her.”

“And… the wording doesn’t leave any dodgy loopholes? These spiritual beings can be tricksy as hell.” That time Shaeula told my sister and Eri about me when I didn’t want her too, she was very careful to only sound like she was agreeing with me, she never actually promised to do as I said. The same with her first Oaths.

“I’m not an idiot, Aki. I’m not getting caught out with that. Now are you going to let me go? I get it, we are both bad people. I’m fine now. I promise!” She wriggled, but there was no way she could break free from my grip. “Look, let go, damn it!”

“No. Because you obviously don’t get it. You may be doing things that aren’t good, but… they aren’t for selfish reasons. You genuinely worry about the world, even though it did nothing for you.”

“No, I…” she began, but I silenced her.

Look. Shiro. Shirohime. Shut up! I know better than you the weight of responsibility. I’ve taken on a lot. If… if it’s too much for you, let me take yours on too. I can carry it, and if you find that too pretentious, too unfair, then at least let me help you carry it. I can do it because I’m not alone. So… if it’s too much, let me help you!”

“But… this is my burden. I wanted to be special, prayed for it all these years, knew I was…” she said doubtfully. “… besides, I made a contract with Tan. It’s too late.”

“You are special to me! And shit, Tan didn’t say you couldn’t have help, did she? I don’t know about being an Astral Emperor, but that’s a long way off. We can work something out. After all, I already have three others like us in my corner. And I’m the boss.” I grinned. “See, Aki isn’t afraid of doing what needs to be done. I’m a new man!” I leaned closer, until I was looking right into her eyes, her breath mingling with mine, hot on each other’s faces. “Shiro, I care about you. I love you. I love Eri, and others too. It’s unfair, it might make me a bad person, but I know one thing. I am confident of one thing. I know what it takes to make you happy. Probably more than anyone else in the world, right now. And if you give me the chance, I’ll do it! I’ll make you the happiest person in the world. Well, equal happiest, anyway!”

“Shit. You’re just an Aki…” she breathed out, breath tickling me. “But my heart does clench when you look at me like that, say those words. It’s a bit… thrilling. And when I look at you, I see all the things about you I like, like your looks, and how you are the same as me, and the fact you’re a cheating bag of crap seems less important and… damn, it’s like my emotions are betraying me. This shouldn’t happen! I’m Shirohime, I’m the one who makes people fall for her, so I can crush their hearts!”

“You crushed mine years ago…” I whispered softly, and she shuddered. Sorry, I’ve got rather high charm, but all that does is make what you like about me seem more important. Forgive me…

“Shit. I’d believe your ability was charming girls. Are you sure it wasn’t you who swapped in for Yuuki Rito?”

“Would Rito have the guts to do this?” I asked, moving ever so slowly closer to her face. She squeezed shut her eyes, and I took that as an invitation. Our lips touched, and I gently kissed her. Just lips to lips. After a moment I pulled away, and her eyes opened in wonder.

“That… that was my first kiss.” She muttered.

“Not mine.” I apologised. “But my first with you, so it’s a first I’ll always remember and treasure.”

“Shit, not Yuuki Rito or any other pussy protago… mmm, mmm!” she lost her words as I sealed her lips again. This time her mouth was open, but I didn’t force it. She was shy, inexperienced, and hurting emotionally right now. But I still used my tongue, licking at her lips. She made more protesting noises, but didn’t pull away, eventually shutting her eyes again, relaxing into me. Great. She’s loosening up. I want this to be fun for her…

My tongue slipped inside her mouth, exploring, and Shiro kissed me back. I felt her trembling body giving off heat, as her flushed skin was scalding with nerves and passion. As our tongues tangled I marvelled at the feel of her in my arms. She was unlike any of my other girls, taller, more mature, and with a chest that rivalled the busty version of Hyacinth. Still, I was not going to be a beast and give into my instincts. Kissing was all I would do, until she confirmed in words she would be my girlfriend.

“Puh, hah, mmm…” Shiro panted as I pulled away. Her black eyes opened, and she looked at me, dazed. “My… I never… a deep kiss.”

“Yeah. Sorry. I would have stopped at just your lips, but Shiro. I love you. And I couldn’t resist the urge to taste you. I hope you enjoyed it?”

“You sound like Tan…” she muttered, dazed. “I… I didn’t hate it. It was just a kiss anyway. I am an adult, a proud princess. Kissing is nothing to me!” she declared.

“Good! In that case then…” I leaned in, and we were kissing again, this time our eyes open, focussed on each other. Shiro. I swear I’m going to keep you safe… Tan, don’t be a traitor or a user, I want to believe in you too. If you genuinely help Shiro, I’ll be your ally. But if not… I tightened my grip on Shiro, and my tongue tangled with hers more passionately, her taste on my tongue, her swallowing saliva as we kissed. … if not, I don’t care what or how. You’ll be the one to pay, contract or not…