Tondemo Skill de Isekai Hourou Meshi

Chapter 618 – Heavy Drinkers

The long-awaited drinking party promised to Bruno-san has come.

After Jorgen left with the escort party to the Royal Capital, I set off to Bruno-san’s office to find out when he would like to have the drinking party.

There was only Anika-san at the office that day, when I consulted her about the drinking party, she said with a laugh, “It would be great if we could hold it as soon as possible. Tomorrow would be the best! Everyone’s been thinking about the drinking party instead of putting their heart and soul into work.”

Well, I guess Anika-san would know best…

Thus, I went home to get the drinking party-ready.

First, the liquor. Since nearly everyone from Bruno-san’s place would be a heavy drinker, the volume of drinks is important. Not to mention the remaining four High Elves from my place, Bartel as well as Grandpa Gon. I haven’t even counted the moderate drinkers yet. [1]

Since this was a party for Dwarves, whisky is a must due to its high alcohol content and popularity with them. Beer too, since that one’s easy to drink so that everyone else could enjoy the party as well.

Let’s limit the alcohol options to beer and whisky, there’s no need to introduce rum, brandy or sake into the mix.

Instead, I decided to offer a wider variety of beers [2]:

Beer 1 – A dry and sharp beer that comes in a silver can and has a strong following.

Beer 2 – A classic, long-standing beer with a star symbol on a black label.

Beer 3 – A clear-flavoured beer that highlights the natural richness of barley and has a dedicated fan base

Beer 4 – A premium beer that I personally love.

Beer 5 – A well-regarded Y-Bis beer known for its rich taste.

I got a few cases and kegs of each beer, stashing them in my [Item Box] for the party.

For the whiskey, I decided to go with affordable options:

Whiskey 1 – Comes in a bottle that resembles a turtle shell.

Whiskey 2 – Packaged in an angular bottle.

Whiskey 3 – This one is a popular choice, featuring a label with a bearded old man.

Whiskey 4 – A beloved Scotch whiskey that is known for its versatility in making refreshing highballs when mixed with soda water.

Whiskey 5 – An iconic bourbon whiskey that has gained worldwide popularity and is considered one of the best-selling of its type on earth.

Since the party-goers would probably drink like fishes, I focussed on cost-effectiveness and general popularity.

As for the food… it would be best to prepare something that could be enjoyed by a large group of people. Pizza is always a nice crowd-pleaser, not to mention, Aya and Teresa could help me with that.

Of course, a drinking party out in the garden would not be the same without a great BBQ. There would be all kinds of meat, of course, and vegetables. Onions, bell peppers, corn, eggplants, potatoes and more~

As you can imagine, I was more excited about the vegetable option.

The party location would be set near the pizza oven/bread oven located right in front of the employees’ houses.

The fire was lit, the dough made and the toppings prepared. The barbecue was also fired up with meat sizzling on the grill. [3] Normally, I would wait until most of the people had arrived before starting to cook, but since I have a very convenient time stop [Item Box] and was expecting a huge crowd, it was best to cook as much as I could before they arrived.

Beer was already chilling in tubs of ice and I was giving everything one last look when Luke came running over to say, “Mukouda-san! The boss and the others have arrived!”

Shortly after that, Irvine came leading Bruno and his battalion of Dwarves over.

“We’re here! I’ve been looking forward to this since yesterday!!”

“Pleased to meet you! Let’s drink lots today!”

“I’m going to drink until I drop!”

“Drink! Drink! Drink!”

“So… a drink?” I said weakly.

“Puhah~! That was awesome!”

“The burn of the alcohol as it slides smoothly down the throat is irresistible!”

“The best is this indescribable aroma…”

After indulging in a variety of beers, the group of Dwarves have descended upon the whisky options. They chugged down the whisky from ceramic mugs as though it was watered-down beer…

“Hey, um, it’s really dangerous to drink whisky like this, you know…”

Instead of appreciating my warning, they all said something to the effect of ‘It’s fine, we’re Dwarves.’

Like, does being Dwarves give you an automatic defence against alcoholic poisoning or something?

Anika-san said, “There’s no way you’ll get Dwarves to listen to reason when it comes to the drink. Just leave them be.”

She said this with a large glass of whisky in hand. Well, I guess she of all people should know… As if to prove her absolute ‘Dwarf-ness’ she chugged the entire glass of whisky in one go. [1]

I shuddered.

After refilling her glass, she trotted off to mingle with my employees. Well, at least she’s doing a little socialising. The rest of the Dwarves were just chugging away as though they were in the middle of a competition…

Bartel and Grandpa Gon were among the ‘heavy drinkers’ group. I should tell you that Grandpa Gon was in the lead by far, drinking twice as much as the rest. I shudder to think how much alcohol is needed to get a 20-storey tall creature drunk.

“Oi! More meat here!”

“”Same! Meat!! Moar!!””

“”Sui wants, um, pizza~~””

“More of this whisky for me, please…”

“Mumu, I want pizza too, but with meat only.”

“Yes, yes,” I said as I flipped the meats on the grill. “You can help yourself to the pizza over there.” I nodded at the oven, where some of my more adept employees helped Aiya and Theresa in pizza making.

[4] The High Elves were banned from the cooking area. And yes, I have already seen the weird sludge made by them. At least the burnt meat still retained some meat-like qualities.

Speaking of which, instead of beer or whisky, Fer, Sui and Dora-chan had some sweet, fizzy cider to go with their food instead. [1] I was just leaning back with a fresh can of beer when I caught sight of Celia, Erik and Lotte standing around in a daze.

“What’s wrong?” I said. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“We’re taking a break. We’re really, really, super really full,” said Lotte.

“The pizza was very delicious,” said Erik.

“Me too,” Celia said with a blush.

“I’m gonna eat again later!”

“Yes, yes, eat as much as you like, there’s plenty of food,” I said indulgently. “Have you had anything to drink yet?”

“Um…”

“Want some orange juice?”

“YES!”

I handed the three children some orange juice. After some thought, I gave them a half dozen pack to share with the other children.

“Master~! Over here~!” the booming voice of Grandpa Gon reached me across the garden. I had placed the drunks a little further away from the ‘family friendly’ barbecue and pizza area.

I swear, the very air around them was so alcoholic that it felt like a punch to the face. Raucous laughter could be heard the most from this side of the party.

“What is it?” I asked the mostly sober-looking Grandpa Gon. I think he did not want a repeat of his previous shame.

[5] “We’re out of drinks.”

[5] “Eh?” I cast a quick glance around and saw that… the mountain of cases I had prepared was still intact. A closer look showed that all had been opened… and were probably filled with empty bottles…

“Dwarves are heavy drinkers, you know,” said Grandpa Gon.

[5] “… …”

“What are you talking about, Dragon? You had a lot too!”

“Gyahahah! That’s right! That’s right!”

“A great drinker!”

“Superb!”

“Wahahahah! I guess that’s true!!”

“… …” that’s not a good thing, you know?

[5] “Please excuse me,” I said as I made my way back to the mansion, presumably to ‘collect’ more whisky, but really just mashing the purchase button for more beer and whisky.

[5] I returned to great cheers. Especially when I took out the great quantities of whisky. I’m glad [Net Super] doesn’t seem to run out of goods…

Then, as a way to assuage my conscience, I said, “Please drink in moderation.”

“Sure, sure,” somebody said, but it was lost to the loud ‘Cheers!’ and ‘Drink! Drink!’ that dominated the entire conversation spectrum in this area.

[Gumihou: The ‘funny’ scene was a little overdone, redid it]

[1] Delete repeats, of which there are many. Lots. Like, plentiful

[2] Kind of hard to tell exactly what’s what, but here are some prime candidates: https://88bamboo.co/blogs/craft-beer/we-taste-rank-japans-5-biggest-beers-asahi-sapporo-kirin-suntory-yebisu

[3] Magic skill common sense

[4] Since there are some High Elves around, highlight this joke

[5] The ‘we are out of drinks’ scene was a little melodramatic, redid it